A recent personal story published by The Telegraph, titled “I was raised by an abusive mother. This is what I want people to know,” has once again brought to light the often-overlooked issue of maternal abuse and its profound, long-term effects on children. While parental abuse is commonly associated with fathers, stories and research are revealing that mothers, too, can be perpetrators, challenging both societal stereotypes and deeply held cultural assumptions. As this subject gains traction in Western media, there is growing recognition of its prevalence and implications for families around the world, including here in Thailand, where filial piety and family honor are especially significant.
The article highlights the deeply personal account of a survivor who grew up under the control of an emotionally and physically abusive mother. The testimony serves not only as a heartbreaking revelation but also as a call to break taboos around the discussion of maternal abuse. For many readers, especially those who have experienced or witnessed similar family dynamics, it offers a chance for reflection and validation. The stigma surrounding “bad mothers” often deters victims from coming forward, further enabling cycles of abuse within the home. Culturally, Thai society tends to idealize motherhood as nurturing and self-sacrificing, but experts emphasize that abuse can happen in any family structure, regardless of outward appearances or social expectations [source: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/parenting/children/abusive-mother/].
Recent studies in child psychology consistently confirm the lasting damage inflicted by parental abuse, whether it is overt (physical or verbal aggression) or covert (neglect, manipulation, emotional withdrawal). According to a 2021 review published in the journal “Child Abuse & Neglect,” children who endure maternal abuse are significantly more likely to develop a range of psychological problems, including anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and difficulties forming healthy relationships in adulthood [source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33831745/]. “The effects of maternal abuse often manifest as low self-esteem, emotional dysregulation, and long-term mistrust of interpersonal bonds,” says Dr. Nattapong Thongthai, a child psychiatrist at Chulalongkorn University. “Children may internalize blame, believing they are inherently unworthy of love, which can lead to self-harming behaviors or, conversely, perfectionism as a way to seek approval.” These findings mirror experiences described in the Telegraph article, indicating that the phenomenon is universal and not limited to any one nation or culture.
In Thailand, where respect for elders (กราบไหว้ผู้ใหญ่) is deeply rooted, children may be especially reluctant to disclose abuse by their mothers. A 2019 survey by the Ministry of Social Development and Human Security found that while one in four Thai children reported experiencing some form of domestic violence, physical and emotional abuse by mothers was significantly underreported compared to abuse by fathers or step-parents [source: https://www.bangkokpost.com/thailand/general/1700440/domestic-violence-children-persistent-problem]. “Family honor (เกียรติยศของครอบครัว) is paramount in Thai culture, so children and even adults are often hesitant to admit that their mother could mistreat them,” explains Nicha Srisongkram, a social worker specializing in child protection. “Victims fear shame, disbelief, and backlash from the wider family community, preferring to hide their pain rather than seek help.”
The stereotype of motherhood as exclusively nurturing not only silences victims but may also hinder informed social policy. International research, including a 2022 meta-analysis in “The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health,” suggests that mothers are responsible for as many as 40% of reported cases of severe child maltreatment, with the rate likely higher due to underreporting [source: https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(22)00273-4/fulltext]. Abuse can span a spectrum, from outright physical violence to psychological tactics like gaslighting, excessive criticism, scapegoating siblings, or withholding affection. “The wounds from maternal abuse are invisible, but they cut deeply. Often, these children grow up to repeat unhealthy patterns or struggle to trust others,” notes Prof. Louise Dubois, co-author of the meta-analysis.
Within the Thai context, the Buddhist principle of gratitude and reverence to one’s mother (บุญคุณของแม่) is taught from a young age. Events such as Mother’s Day (วันแม่แห่งชาติ) are celebrated in schools with flower offerings and wai-ceremonies—formal acts of respect and affection. However, this idealization sometimes comes at the cost of minimizing children’s experiences, discouraging acknowledgment of abuse even in cases where intervention is clearly needed. “The deep respect for mothers is beautiful, but it shouldn’t prevent children from getting the help they need,” argues Dr. Nattapong.
Despite these challenges, Thai society has made strides in acknowledging and addressing domestic violence. The Domestic Violence Victim Protection Act (2007) provides legal mechanisms for intervention and rehabilitation, but reporting rates remain low, particularly for psychological abuse by mothers. Local NGOs, like the Friends of Women Foundation (มูลนิธิเพื่อนหญิง), offer hotlines and counseling, but funding and outreach are limited.
Looking forward, experts call for a multifaceted approach: increasing public awareness, integrating mental health education into the school curriculum, and training teachers as first-line identifiers of abuse. Dr. Nattapong highlights the importance of breaking stereotypes: “We must educate our communities that abuse is not limited to fathers. All caregivers, regardless of gender, wield great influence over children’s developing minds and hearts. The first step is listening without judgment.” Internationally, digital platforms give survivors a voice and foster solidarity, as evidenced by the viral #ToxicMoms and #MotherWound movements on social media.
For Thai readers who suspect a child is being abused, key recommendations include: observing behavioral changes (such as mood swings, withdrawal, or sudden drop in school performance), teaching children about their rights to safety and dignity, and providing safe spaces for open dialogue. Adults should remember that respecting elders does not mean tolerating harm—protecting children is a shared societal responsibility (ความรับผิดชอบร่วมกันของสังคมไทย). Victims and concerned parties can seek support from the Department of Social Development and Welfare hotline (1300), or consult local mental health professionals through hospitals and schools.
Breaking the silence on maternal abuse requires courage, compassion, and a willingness to challenge ingrained cultural narratives. By fostering greater awareness and empathy, Thai society can work towards healing the hidden wounds left by family violence—and ensure a safer, more nurturing future for all its children.
[Sources: The Telegraph – https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/parenting/children/abusive-mother/; PubMed – https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33831745/; Bangkok Post – https://www.bangkokpost.com/thailand/general/1700440/domestic-violence-children-persistent-problem; The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health – https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanchi/article/PIIS2352-4642(22)00273-4/fulltext; Friends of Women Foundation – https://www.friendsofwoman.or.th/]