A recent advice column caught the internet’s attention: a six-year-old boy has repeatedly punched classmates, leaving bruises, and his parents have dismissed this behavior as inconsequential. This scenario, while alarming, puts a spotlight on a challenge familiar to many families and educators in Thailand—how should parents and schools respond when a child’s aggression escalates beyond normal childhood roughhousing? Research over the past year offers new insight, emphasizing that how parents react can deeply shape a child’s future social and emotional development.
Childhood aggression, characterized by intentionally inflicting harm—verbally, physically, or relationally—is not uncommon in the early school years. While mild aggression can be a normal, developmentally typical way for young children in Thailand and worldwide to test boundaries, persistent or severe forms, such as hitting or punching that leads to injury, are strong warning signs. The latest research underlines that parental response is a critical determinant: parents who ignore or minimize aggressive behavior, hoping children will “grow out of it,” may inadvertently reinforce the very conduct they want to see disappear. This can lead to lasting problems, affecting the child’s relationships, academic performance, and even their emotional health into adulthood (APA PsycNET; Springer).
Why does this matter for Thai readers? In Thai schools and communities, “jai yen” (ใจเย็น)—the ideal of staying calm and avoiding conflict—is often prized. However, unaddressed aggression undermines this social harmony. Teachers across Bangkok and the provinces report rising concerns about physical bullying in both government and international schools. Increasingly, these incidents are being brought to the attention of administrators, only to find some parents in denial, echoing the scenario raised in the recent advice column. Yet, Thai cultural norms may sometimes guide adults toward tolerance or avoidance rather than confrontation, delaying crucial intervention when serious behaviors emerge.
Key studies from the past year have dissected how parental attitudes and styles affect aggressive tendencies. For example, a 2023 study found that coercive or disengaged parenting—marked by a lack of clear boundaries or inconsistent discipline—correlates strongly with escalating aggression among young children (Springer). Another recent article in BMC Psychology points to parental rejection or overprotection as additional risk factors; children whose parents do not provide firm but nurturing guidance are more likely to act out aggressively (BMC Psychology). Conversely, children whose parents consistently discuss behavior, enforce reasonable consequences, and model non-violent conflict resolution are far less likely to become chronic aggressors (APA PsycNET).
Expert commentary widens the lens. Dr. Susan Campbell, a child psychologist quoted in the recent Business Insider article, notes: “Permissive parenting, where all acts are seen as ‘phases’ and rarely met with structure, actually increases problem behaviors. Children need boundaries as much as they need affection.” Supporting this, researcher Dr. Jiraporn Leelatanakul of Mahidol University has observed Thai cases where parents minimize aggressive conduct due to shame or fear of social stigma. “Denial doesn’t protect children; it can set them up for years of struggle with peers and authority,” she stresses.
In Thailand, this conversation intersects with changing parenting norms. The widespread embrace of more ‘gentle’ or ‘respectful’ parenting methods—some imported from the West—has benefits but also risks when interpreted as never correcting disruptive behavior. Thai schools now commonly run parent workshops teaching that effective discipline is not about punishment, but about setting clear, consistent expectations and helping children understand consequences.
Relating to international findings, a 2024 pilot study on bullying among hearing-impaired children highlights that unaddressed aggression, even when directed at more vulnerable classmates, further isolates victims and disrupts overall classroom harmony (PubMed). More broadly, scientists distinguish between “reactive” aggression—impulsive acts driven by frustration—and “proactive” aggression, which is more deliberate and calculating. Both types can result in peer rejection and poor long-term outcomes if not addressed early (ScienceDirect).
For Thai educators, understanding childhood aggression means going beyond the visible bruise. Aggression can reflect unmet emotional needs, exposure to harsh discipline at home, or even unseen conditions like ADHD or trauma. According to Dr. Somchai Rattanathikun, a leading Thai child psychiatrist, “Teachers are often the first to notice patterns—children who repeatedly hurt others, even accidentally, may be signalling emotional distress or a lack of social skills, not just ‘bad manners’.”
Looking at the broader historical and cultural context in Thailand, the “kreng jai” (เกรงใจ) mentality encourages restraint and deference, sometimes at the cost of confronting difficult truths. Addressing aggression in young children requires overcoming reluctance to “lose face” and instead opening lines of communication between parents, teachers, and mental health professionals. Campaigns led by foundations like the Child Safety Promotion and Injury Prevention Research Center have started encouraging candid conversations about violence prevention at home and in schools.
Failure to address aggressive behavior, research warns, carries long-term costs—not only for the perpetrator but for classmates and the wider community. Studies find that aggressive children are at greater risk of academic failure, social isolation, substance abuse, and criminal involvement in adolescence and adulthood (Medical Xpress). For Thai society, grappling with these behaviors early is an important step toward healthier, more resilient communities.
So what can Thai parents and teachers do? The latest evidence points to several action points:
- If your child repeatedly hurts others, respond with calm but firm disapproval, set clear limits, and enforce non-violent consequences (e.g., loss of privileges, time-out).
- Open dialogues about feelings, helping children put words to their emotions—“Are you angry? What happened to make you feel that way?”
- Partner closely with teachers: listen to their concerns and seek their observations.
- Don’t ignore repeated patterns. If aggression does not improve, consult a pediatrician, psychologist, or behavioral specialist—unmet needs may be driving the problem.
- Join or advocate for school-based parenting workshops on discipline and emotional intelligence, now increasingly available in Thai schools.
- Model jai yen behavior at home, but recognize that dealing with aggression directly (but gently) is a sign of strength, not weakness.
In closing, while it may be tempting to brush off a child’s aggressive phase as “just a stage,” new research confirms the risks of ignoring or underreacting. Thai parents and teachers are encouraged to address these behaviors head-on, both for the child’s own future and for the well-being of their peers. By weaving together traditional Thai values with modern knowledge on child development, families can equip the next generation with the tools to resolve conflict peacefully—creating safer, happier schools and communities for everyone.
Sources: Springer | BMC Psychology | APA PsycNET | Business Insider | Medical Xpress | ScienceDirect | Wikipedia: Childhood aggression