A viral question on social media—do parents have fewer friends than people without kids?—has set off a nationwide debate and inspired fresh research into how parenthood impacts adult friendships. Recent reports and expert insights reveal that while parents don’t necessarily “lose” friends, the dynamics, quality, and expectations of adult relationships undergo substantial changes once children arrive. This growing body of research and real-life testimony, which has resonated with many Thai parents and would-be parents, underscores the broader social implications of Thailand’s shifting family structures and the urgent need for supportive communities in the face of urbanization and changing lifestyles (TODAY.com, The Cut, Mother.ly).
The spark for this renewed scrutiny came from a 24-year-old TikTok content creator, Brennan Fisher, who voiced confusion over why parents in his life seemed to have fewer friends or no social life outside work and child-rearing. His observation—“Why are we abandoning our friends when we get old?”—triggered a cascade of comments from parents. Many explained, sometimes with a touch of exhaustion, that parenthood brings a level of fatigue and responsibility unimaginable before having children. “Give us an update when you get married and have kids,” one parent replied, summing up what research now substantiates: intentions often run up against real-world hurdles.
International studies provide data to back up these lived experiences. Researchers writing in the journal Demographic Research (2017) conducted a large study in the Netherlands, concluding that “the strength and quality of friendships typically decreases after people become parents.” This dip is especially pronounced during the years of early childhood, when parental demands and sleep deprivation peak, before rebounding as children grow older (Demographic Research PDF, also discussed in The Cut article). The study observed that most of the strain occurs when children are around three years old; by age five, many parents reported more time and energy to reconnect with friends. This “temporary social withdrawal” may help explain the common sentiment among Thai parents, who may feel isolated during the toddler years but find social circles opening again as children become more independent.
Expert analysis sheds further light on why friendships are altered but not necessarily abandoned. According to Francyne Zeltser, clinical director at Manhattan Psychology Group, “Friendships often shift significantly when someone becomes a parent. Socializing becomes less spontaneous and is often more structured around child-friendly environments or limited to brief, adult-only occasions.” She urges both parents and childfree friends to practice empathy and adaptability, suggesting that true friendship can survive if both parties are open about new limitations and willing to experiment with new forms of connection (TODAY.com).
Personal stories reinforce these findings, as many parents describe a reduced frequency of meet-ups, a shift in conversational content towards children, and reliance on “mom friends” or fellow parents for support. A relatable case highlighted in Mother.ly revolves around the unique loneliness experienced by first-time mothers or fathers, especially when they are the first in their friend group to have a child. As the author explains, “Motherhood changes friendships. It completely reworks the entire anatomy of already existing relationships.” Yet, many parents interviewed ultimately found ways to revive or rebuild their social lives, sometimes forging valuable new connections with other parents in similar life stages (Mother.ly).
While the phenomenon is global, there are important nuances for Thai society. Thai culture holds “community” and “extended family” in high regard, with traditional support networks often providing much of the childcare needed to maintain adult friendships. However, rapid urbanization, the rise of nuclear family structures, and demanding work schedules in Bangkok and other cities have made it harder for parents to lean on relatives or trustworthy babysitters—a challenge echoed by parents “from the provinces” now raising children as nuclear families in cramped city apartments. “My parents had very rich social lives because community was bigger back then, so childcare was super accessible,” one parent observed online, a comment which could have come straight from a Thai chat group reflecting on times past.
The situation is further complicated by the perceived “work-first” mentality of modern Thai society, where long hours make leisure and friendship a lower priority for parents and childless adults alike. This dynamic is reflected in national statistics that point to a rise in adult loneliness and mental health difficulties, notably among women who experience postpartum changes with little support. Studies show that isolation and demands of early parenthood can contribute to increased stress and even depression—realities faced by a growing number of Thai families as fertility rates fall and single-child households become the norm (Bangkok Post, NSO Thailand).
Despite the challenges, experts stress actionable solutions for both parents and non-parents. Tips for maintaining connections include being upfront about one’s availability, accepting new forms of socializing, and showing patience with friends in different life stages. Simple changes—like inviting friends to a park, gathering for an early family dinner, or even chatting during stroller walks—allow friendships to evolve rather than end. “You’ve got to take care of your friends. You’ve got to take care of your social life,” Brennan Fisher wisely stated—a reminder as relevant in Bangkok as it is in New York (TODAY.com).
Voices from Thailand echo these findings. In recent interviews with Bangkok-based parents, mothers reported “missing the freedom of spontaneous plans” and “feeling guilty for not making time for old friends,” but also highlight new friendships formed in school parent groups, online forums, or neighbors in their condo blocks. “I learned to be flexible,” shares a working mother in Ratchada. “Our meet-ups now include our kids, with everyone bringing snacks and toys. It’s noisy, but at least we’re together.” For single parents or expat families, digital platforms like LINE and Facebook groups have become lifelines in building supportive new communities.
Thai cultural norms around “sanook” (สนุก, fun or enjoyment) and collective gatherings remain powerful, yet the reality of squeezed schedules, long commutes, and shrinking households prompt adaptations. For some, maintaining friendships in adulthood—particularly through early parenthood—means redefining what social connection looks like. Accepting, as one veteran mom advised, “that our old way of hanging out is gone, but we can find new happiness together if we try.”
Looking ahead, the evidence suggests that while parenthood may initially narrow the breadth of friendships, the depth and resilience of true relationships can still flourish—if both sides communicate openly, show empathy, and adapt their expectations. Public health and community leaders in Thailand can support this by advocating for family-friendly public spaces, flexible work arrangements, and accessible childcare, all of which make it easier for parents to remain engaged in social networks.
For readers in Thailand wondering how to sustain their friendships through life’s transitions, experts advise: Talk openly about your needs, make space for new routines, and cultivate relationships across generations whenever possible. “Don’t be afraid to make new friends after becoming a parent,” says Mariah Maddox, author for Mother.ly. “Your community is a balance of both [parents and non-parents].” Letting go of guilt, asking for help, and being honest about limitations can help keep Thailand’s culture of connection alive, whatever challenges a new generation of families may face.
For more detailed research and perspectives, see: