A new wave of research and social commentary is shining a critical light on the true cost of “doing it all” as a parent — and the findings are deeply relevant for families across Thailand. The latest Psychology Today article, “Running on Empty: The True Cost of Doing It All” by Drs. Alona Pulde and Matthew Lederman, argues that today’s culture of “good parenting” glorifies exhaustion and self-sacrifice, leaving parents depleted, relationships strained, and personal well-being on the line (source). At a time when both global and Thai parents are expected to juggle relentless schedules, this new perspective asks: Are we sacrificing too much at the altar of good parenting, and what can we do differently for the health of both families and children?
In Thailand, where family ties and parental sacrifice have always played a central role in daily life, messages about “giving everything” to one’s children resonate deeply. But modern pressures — from overscheduled timetables to social media-fueled comparisons — are steadily intensifying. Thai parents, like many worldwide, now manage marathon days filled with work, homework, activity drop-offs, and constant digital connectedness. The relentless drive to never miss a moment, fueled by the belief that every opportunity is a golden ticket to future success, often means parents put their own needs last — sometimes to the breaking point.
What’s emerging from both international research and local Thai reporting is the concept of “parental burnout” (ภาวะหมดไฟในบทบาทพ่อแม่). According to Psychology Today, the signs are familiar: waking up and going to bed tired, feeling guilt over missed events, relationship drift where partners become logistics managers rather than life companions, and losing oneself in the endless hustle of child-centered activities (source). This burnout is not merely about being “busy” or “tired”—it is the result of chronic, cultural expectations that glorify endless parental self-sacrifice.
A 2024 German study found that role models and social expectations significantly increase mental health diagnoses in postpartum mothers, reinforcing the global scope of this issue (PubMed, 2024). Further, research shows that perfectionism in parenting directly correlates with increased parental burnout and even negative behaviors, including less patience and emotional availability towards children (PubMed, 2023). “Perfectionism and unrealistic expectations are heavy burdens for any parent,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Janjira Udomsathaporn, highlighting that these pressures exist regardless of culture, but can be even higher in societies where family honor and academic achievements are paramount (source).
But is this a uniquely Western problem, or does it also shape life in “the Land of Smiles”? Evidence from Thai sources reveals that parental burnout is increasingly recognized at home. A feature on TH-Hello Magazine addresses how exhaustion and emotional distance can arise in Thai families grappling with work and school routines (TH-Hello Magazine). Another scholarly article in Thai Clinical Psychology highlights that Thai parents exhibiting burnout often cite the “need to do more” for their children’s future as a critical stressor (TCI Thaijo). Importantly, data also suggest that Thailand’s rates of parental burnout remain lower than some Western countries — just 0.3% compared to 7.9% in the US and 3% in the UK (iNews). Experts suggest this reflects Thailand’s traditionally strong community support networks and Buddhist-influenced attitudes toward acceptance and imperfection, but caution that rising social comparison and competitive parenting trends could erode these buffers (iNews).
For many parents, especially in bustling Bangkok, the cost of living, work obligations, and the pressure to “keep up” with peers create a nearly impossible balancing act. “In my practice, I see more parents overwhelmed not just by time demands, but by a deep sense of inadequacy — as if being anything less than perfect is failure,” explains Thai child development specialist Dr. Piyaporn Lertviwatkul. She notes that this mindset is reinforced both by social media’s highlight reels and by well-meaning schools or community groups that pile on activities and expectations. The result is that crucial elements of adult life — personal hobbies, friendships, marital intimacy, and even spiritual wellness — are often pushed aside in favor of child-centric routines.
The international conversation has started to shift. Rather than glorifying “all-in” parenting, leading psychologists now recommend what Drs. Pulde and Lederman call the “Triple A Approach”: Acknowledge, Release, and Align. This means first acknowledging that parental overload isn’t a personal failure but a systemic problem; next, releasing the toxic belief that a good parent must never miss a moment; and finally, aligning daily life with core values, not just outside obligations (source). Research supports this reset: more balanced parents model healthy boundaries and self-care, equipping their children to do the same. “When parents demonstrate that it’s okay to rest and to say no, children learn resilience and self-compassion,” says Dr. Janjira.
Thai families already have some cultural tools for resisting this burnout trap. Concepts like “พอเพียง” (sufficiency), popularized by King Rama IX, and Buddhist teachings about detachment and balance can help parents resist the lure of endless striving. However, as Thai society becomes increasingly urban and globalized, experts warn that more parents may fall into the “never enough” spiral common in the West — unless they consciously protect their mental and relational health.
So what can Thai readers do right now? Experts recommend several practical shifts. First, dare to say no to at least one commitment per week—whether it’s a nonessential extracurricular, social gathering, or work obligation. Second, carve out regular time for yourself, treating it as sacrosanct as your child’s school performance or a family gathering. Third, nurture adult relationships through small rituals—whether that’s sharing a no-phone meal with your partner or a peaceful chat with a friend. Finally, change the daily dialogue with your child: ask not just about grades and goals, but about what made them happy or proud that day. “It’s about presence, not just attendance,” Dr. Piyaporn stresses.
Looking ahead, Thai health and education policymakers may have a role to play too. Schools and employers can create parent-friendly policies, promote realistic expectations, and provide resources for mental health and work-life balance. Models of after-school and community programs that give parents breathing room and children opportunities for independent growth could ease the burden (BKK Kids). At a societal level, more honest conversations about parental struggles—through social media, public health campaigns, and school workshops—can normalize imperfection and encourage mutual support.
As this issue gains visibility worldwide, let’s remember: The strength of a parent, whether in Thailand or abroad, lies not in doing everything, but in knowing what truly matters—and having the courage to let go of the rest. As the saying goes, “Strong fences make good neighbors”; in parenting, strong boundaries make for healthier families.
For those feeling overwhelmed, remember: คุณไม่ได้อยู่คนเดียว (You are not alone). Release what drains you. Hold on to what fills you. And show your children that the true power of Thai family isn’t in exhausting yourself for them, but in modeling how to live fully—together and apart.
Sources:
- Psychology Today. Running on Empty: The True Cost of Doing It All (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/collaborative-non-permissive-parenting/202504/running-on-empty-the-true-cost-of-doing-it-all)
- TH-Hello Magazine, “Parental Burnout - How to deal with being exhausted as a parent” (https://www.th-hellomagazine.com/education/how-to-deal-with-parental-burnout/)
- TCI Thaijo, ภาวะหมดไฟในการเป็นพ่อแม่: แบบประเมินความเที่ยงตรง (https://so03.tci-thaijo.org/index.php/tci-thaijclinicpsy/article/view/270608)
- iNews, “Thailand has the world’s happiest parents” (https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/thailand-world-happiest-parents-learned-3292978?srsltid=AfmBOoqdKppPt5fXHq83XROGbuKiv8IfL1mabnlJYlAeIHArrQykcgLf)
- PubMed, “Does Parenting Perfectionism Increase Violent Behaviors from Parent towards Children?” (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37149297/), “Does becoming a mother make you ill?” (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38404992/)
- BKK Kids, “Parental Burnout – Why it’s OK Not To Be OK” (https://www.bkkkids.com/blog/parental-burnout-why-its-ok-not-to-be-ok/)