When parents undermine each other in front of their children, it is the young ones who bear the brunt of the damage, according to a growing body of research and fresh public discussion on the issue. The topic has attracted renewed attention following a widely shared advice column published by MLive in April 2025, highlighting how conflicting parental strategies lead to confusion, emotional stress, and behavioral issues among children. The column drew on real-life examples and practical advice, sparking conversation among Thai families and educators who observe similar dynamics in local contexts.
Parental unity in approach is seen as a cornerstone of healthy child development, but many households—both in the United States and Thailand—struggle with this challenge. When caregivers contradict each other, especially in matters of discipline or major family decisions, experts say children often feel torn between loyalties and left without clear boundaries. These dynamics can exacerbate anxiety, encourage manipulative behavior as children learn to “play one parent against the other,” and ultimately hinder trust-building within the family unit, as documented in reviews by the American Psychological Association (source), as well as in guidance issued by UNICEF Thailand (source).
Dr. Jennifer E. Lansford, a research professor of public policy, stressed in a 2020 paper that “consistency between parents is associated with more positive child outcomes, including higher self-esteem and fewer behavioral problems” (PubMed link). A similar message has been echoed by health professionals in Thailand. One child development specialist at a leading Bangkok hospital notes, “In Thai families, loss of face and cultural norms can sometimes make it especially difficult for parents to have open disagreements, so undermining can happen subtly, creating confusion for the child.” Local studies have pointed out that when grandparents are primary caregivers—common in many Thai households—inter-generational conflicts on parenting styles can further muddy the waters (source).
The problem is not new. Guidance literature and family therapists have long advised parents to present a united front, even if they hold differing opinions privately. However, the proliferation of advice columns, online forums, and family-focused social media has amplified the urgency and visibility of the issue in recent years. Parents in Thailand, influenced by Western parenting philosophies and traditional hierarchical values, often find themselves navigating these challenges without clear frameworks.
Crucially, experts warn that the consequences are not only short-term. “Children learn more from what we do than what we say,” explains a psychologist from the Ministry of Public Health, referencing both international findings and local practice. Emotional insecurity and behavioral problems rooted in early childhood can have long-term effects, including poor academic performance, aggression, and difficulties in forming relationships later in life (source).
Not all families are equally affected. The impact can vary depending on the frequency and intensity of parental discord, as well as the presence of broader support networks—such as extended family or community mentors, which are often more accessible in Thai society. Cultural values of harmony, respect for elders, and avoidance of open confrontation can offer some protective buffer but can also prevent honest resolution between parents or caregivers.
In response, education specialists and childcare counselors urge parents to set aside differences through private discussions and align their messages before addressing children. Family education programs advocated by the Thai Ministry of Education and the Mental Health Department increasingly promote communication workshops for parents, teaching skills in joint problem-solving and non-confrontational negotiation (source).
Beyond the family, schools also play a critical role. Teachers and guidance counselors often observe the consequences of undermined parenting in classrooms—manifesting as attention problems, withdrawal, or aggression. Some Bangkok schools now offer workshops that include both parents, grandparents, and children in structured dialogues.
Looking ahead, increased research into culturally specific solutions for Thai families is needed. Integrating modern parenting science with local traditions could help develop frameworks that support healthy co-parenting while respecting Thailand’s unique family structures. The expansion of community resources, such as family counseling centers and accessible online guidance, is already underway in several urban areas.
For parents and caregivers, the immediate recommendation is clear: hold difficult conversations about parenting away from children, commit to shared priorities, and seek support when needed. Thai families are encouraged to make use of the country’s expanding network of parenting helplines, community centers, and online resources from reputable organizations like UNICEF Thailand and the Ministry of Health.
For more information, readers can consult the APA Parenting Resources, UNICEF Thailand Parenting Guidance, and the original advice article on MLive.