A viral video by an American kindergarten teacher has reignited debate on early childhood discipline, with a focus on one simple word: “No.” The teacher, who recently spoke out on social media, expressed frustration that many children enter school without understanding or respecting boundaries, blaming shifts in modern parenting for difficulty in classroom management. The video, which swiftly gathered more than 326,000 views on TikTok, has triggered global discussion on the best ways to prepare children for the structure of school—an issue with important implications for Thai parents and educators.
In her widely discussed post, the teacher, who works in Kentucky and is also a mother herself, implores parents to teach their children to accept “No” as a complete answer before starting kindergarten. According to her, not having this fundamental lesson makes children “basically unteachable.” The educator stresses that saying “No” is not about being authoritarian or harsh, but about laying the groundwork for respect, cooperation, and effective learning in structured environments. Her perspective is especially aimed at adherents of “gentle parenting,” a philosophy that emphasizes empathy, negotiation, and limited use of outright denial.
This public appeal arrives at a time when parenting philosophies worldwide—including in Thailand—are in flux. While traditional Thai upbringing often values deference and respect toward adults, younger generations of parents have shown a growing interest in child-centered and positive discipline approaches. The teacher’s viral message argues that avoiding the word “No” entirely in favor of constant negotiation can backfire. “If your child’s teacher can’t tell them ‘No,’ it’s really hard to help them learn,” she warns in the video, underscoring that boundaries must be set by adults for children to thrive socially and academically.
The concept of “gentle parenting,” while rooted in positive values, has not gone unquestioned. As defined in the original article and supported by parenting experts, gentle parenting prioritizes empathy, validation of feelings, and collaborative problem-solving over punitive measures. However, critics—including the Kentucky teacher—argue that an avoidance of direct denial can lead to challenges in managing group settings, such as classrooms, where clear boundaries are necessary for safety and effective instruction. One British mother cited in the article even declined to require apologies from her children, viewing forced contrition as “disingenuous,” adding to the debate on how much agency and negotiation children should have in their moral development.
Educational and developmental psychology research supports the idea that clear, consistent limits play a key role in young children’s ability to regulate their emotions and behaviors. A 2021 review in the journal Early Childhood Education emphasized that children need predictable structures and boundaries to feel safe and to develop the self-discipline essential for school success (Early Childhood Education Journal). Without learning to accept limitations, young children may have difficulty working with others, coping with disappointment, or following classroom rules—challenges that are being increasingly reported, according to Thai kindergarten teachers interviewed for this report.
A senior administrator at a Bangkok private school, speaking on condition of anonymity per this publication’s policy, agrees with the American educator’s stance. “Children who have never experienced boundaries at home often find group environments overwhelming. It is not about being strict, but about helping them learn that sometimes, things do not go their way, and that is OK.” Another Thai early childhood consultant adds that respect for adult guidance is “deeply rooted in Thai culture,” but warns that too-repressive approaches can stifle communication and creativity.
Thailand’s Ministry of Education has recommended in its guidelines for early childhood development that parents balance warmth with consistent rule-setting (Office of the Basic Education Commission). The guidelines encourage nurturing autonomy and self-expression, but also urge families to gradually introduce rules, routines, and respectful listening—all vital for a child’s social-emotional growth and readiness for formal schooling.
Yet, societal shifts in Thailand and elsewhere are challenging old models. Urbanization, smaller families, diminished community involvement, and the influence of international parenting trends are changing traditional expectations. Recent research by Chulalongkorn University found that young parents in Bangkok were increasingly aware of debates around gentle, authoritative, and authoritarian styles, but often felt confused about which boundaries to set, and how. Teachers in Thai kindergartens report a rise in behaviors such as refusal to follow directions and difficulty sharing—reflecting, perhaps, a broader global development in child-rearing practice.
Globally, educators and psychologists continue to debate the optimal balance between empathy and limit-setting. The American Academy of Pediatrics, for example, advocates “authoritative parenting,” which blends nurturing support with clear standards (AAP Parenting Guidelines). Studies highlight that children raised with both warmth and boundaries tend to exhibit the best social and academic outcomes.
While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, experts generally agree that children should feel loved and understood while also learning that adults sometimes must say “No,” for their safety and development. In the words of the Kentucky teacher: “You can validate your child’s feelings without being a pushover.” The challenge for Thai parents, as for parents everywhere, is to strike this balance. “If we never say ‘No’ at home,” notes a prominent Bangkok preschool director, “children will not be prepared for the reality of school, work, or life.”
For Thai families, this news offers a prompt to reflect on child-rearing practices. Parents are encouraged to model positive boundaries—using calm, consistent language to explain “No” when needed, but also offering warmth and explanation appropriate to the child’s age and temperament. Thai cultural traditions can be drawn upon as a foundation for mutual respect, but should not preclude honest communication or adaptation to changing times.
Looking forward, both Thai educators and parents might benefit from more open dialogue about discipline and development. As the demands of schooling evolve, and children’s environments become more complex, balancing the values of respect, empathy, and firmness will remain a central challenge.
Practical recommendations for Thai parents include: establishing clear household rules, validating emotions while maintaining boundaries, and working with teachers to ensure consistent messages at home and school. Parent-teacher workshops and accessible information from the Ministry of Education and reputable child development organizations can also help families adapt their approaches while honoring Thai values.
As classroom environments in Thailand continue to reflect global trends, the simple lesson—teaching children to accept “No”—remains as important as ever. It is not a rejection, but a foundation for respect, resilience, and school readiness.
Sources: New York Post article, Early Childhood Education Journal, American Academy of Pediatrics, Thai OBEC guidelines.