A new wave of research is challenging long-held assumptions about the differences in raising boys and girls, igniting an important conversation for Thai parents and educators. Recent findings, covered by The Atlantic in “What Parents of Boys Need to Know,” highlight how social norms and expectations — more than biology — shape the trajectories of boys, with implications for their education, emotional health, and long-term success. These insights are especially relevant in Thailand, where evolving gender roles intersect with traditional values, and where national education performance gaps have sparked public debate.
For many years, common wisdom argued that boys are naturally less communicative, less emotionally attuned, and more prone to behavioural difficulties than girls. However, new studies suggest that these trends are not etched in the DNA but result largely from differences in the ways parents, teachers, and society interact with boys from a very young age. According to research cited in The Atlantic, the so-called “nurture gap” opens early, with adults unconsciously speaking less and engaging in fewer emotionally rich interactions with baby boys than with girls (The Atlantic).
This difference in nurture sets the stage for struggles later in life, from academic achievement to mental health. A landmark study published in the journal Child Development tracked parent-child verbal exchanges and found that adults used about 8,000 more words per day with girls than boys during the crucial early years (source: PubMed). Such disparities may contribute to boys’ higher rates of reading difficulties and disengagement in school, as noted by Thai education researchers working with the Ministry of Education.
“What these findings confirm is that our interactions with young boys powerfully influence their development — and that equality of opportunity truly begins at home,” explained a leading Thai child psychologist from Chulalongkorn University, who has reviewed recent global studies on gender and childhood development. The psychologist emphasized that parents commonly encourage rough play and independence in boys while nurturing empathy and communication in girls. “This isn’t just a Western pattern; similar biases show up in Thai families and classrooms,” the expert noted.
Implications for Thailand are clear. Despite significant social progress, gender stereotypes continue to inform classroom management, teacher expectations, and even the design of national curricula. Government data from the Office of the Basic Education Commission show that boys in Thailand are more likely than girls to be disciplined harshly, while girls are consistently outperforming boys in language subjects. UNESCO’s regional director for education added, “The reality is, when boys are expected to ‘be tough’ and hide their feelings, we risk leaving them unsupported emotionally, which can manifest as academic or behavioural challenges down the line” (UNESCO).
Cultural history looms large in Thailand, where the concept of “phu chai” (literally, “man”) comes with expectations of stoicism and leadership, traits still reinforced in some schools and family settings. Teachers interviewed by the Bangkok Post reported that boys were often allowed — or even encouraged — to interrupt, be loud, or be physically active, while girls were praised for timidity and obedience. Academic studies reinforce that these early scripts, while familiar, no longer fit the complex reality aspiring Thai youth face, particularly as automation and globalization value collaboration, creativity, and emotional intelligence — traits that boys are not always supported to develop.
If current practices continue unchecked, researchers warn of widening educational gaps. According to the World Bank’s most recent assessment on gender and education, Thai girls now outpace boys in university entrance rates by a significant margin (World Bank). Boys are also more at risk for dropping out, substance abuse, and contact with the justice system. Yet, the research also points to solutions: when adults intentionally engage in more emotionally supportive conversations with boys and model empathy, gaps close. Swedish preschool studies showed that when teachers were trained to interact with boys and girls equally in empathetic and communicative ways, boys’ academic and social outcomes improved markedly (ScienceDirect).
For Thai readers and parents, experts recommend practical shifts: Speak to boys as richly and responsively as girls. Encourage play that includes emotional expression and storytelling, not just competition. Schools can review discipline policies and ensure that expectations of behaviour and academic performance are gender-neutral. Local education offices in Bangkok and Chiang Mai have begun collaborating with NGOs to provide teacher training programs embedding these insights, with early results showing promise, according to a senior official in the Ministry of Social Development and Human Security.
Reflecting on the Thai proverb “เด็กชายห้ามร้องไห้” (“boys must not cry”), a reform-minded Buddhist monk teaching youth groups in Isan noted: “Sometimes we think we protect our sons by making them strong, but real strength requires understanding and expressing one’s emotions.” In line with this, Thai universities are beginning to integrate emotional intelligence and social skills into teacher training, responding to mounting global and local evidence that soft skills are crucial for succeeding in school and beyond (Bangkok Post).
Looking forward, if parents, teachers, and the wider community can narrow the nurture gap, Thailand stands to benefit from a better educated, healthier, and more resilient generation of boys. Families can start today: dedicate time to talk, listen, and encourage boys to name and share their feelings. By promoting holistic development for all children, regardless of gender, Thailand can keep pace with a changing global society and unlock the full potential of its future citizens.
For readers wishing to go further, resources are available from UNICEF Thailand’s parenting support services (UNICEF), as well as local NGOs like the Equitable Education Fund, which runs programs targeting boy’s literacy and social-emotional development. The evidence is clear: investing in nurture and closing the gap benefits families, schools, and society at large.