A recent viral video has reignited a global discussion about the generational double standards around family-building, as one woman called out baby boomer parents for pressuring their children to have kids—only to withhold meaningful support once the grandchildren arrived. The conversation, which originated from a candid social media confession, has led to broader debate in Thailand, where societal expectations around marriage, parenthood, and intergenerational care remain deeply rooted.
The woman’s video, reported by Upworthy, struck a chord with viewers by highlighting the gap between the persistent urging of older parents for their children to “settle down and have a family,” and the reality that, once grandchildren arrive, practical help—from babysitting to emotional support—can be limited or conditional. The case mirrors experiences shared by many Millennial and Gen Z adults globally, including those in Thai society, who feel squeezed by traditional expectations without adequate communal or familial backing (Upworthy).
Intergenerational family dynamics are particularly significant in Thailand, where the concept of bun khun, or the reciprocal cycle of familial obligation, is a cultural mainstay. Traditionally, older generations provide guidance and some resources to new parents, while adult children return the favor by caring for aging elders. However, economic pressures, urbanisation, and the increasing cost of raising children in cities like Bangkok have tested the endurance of this model (Bangkok Post), leading many young adults to delay parenthood or express ambivalence about starting families altogether.
Recent demographic data from Thailand’s National Statistical Office underscores the strain: Thailand’s birthrate has dropped to a record low, with just 0.76 children per woman in 2023, far below the replacement rate of 2.1 (NSO Thailand). Government officials and public policy researchers often link this trend to economic anxiety, unaffordable child care, and a sense that traditional family networks are less reliable than before. A social policy analyst at Thailand Development Research Institute notes, “The perception that grandparents or older relatives will step in with childrearing support is no longer a given, especially in urban environments where extended families are less common and older generations are themselves still working or managing chronic health conditions.”
Social media reactions in Thailand to the viral video reflect a spectrum of opinions. Some older Thais, in comments on platforms like Twitter and Pantip, defend the right of the older generation to enjoy retirement free from caregiving obligations, pointing out that they “did their part” in raising their own children. Others express empathy with young parents who feel isolated and unsupported, especially with nuclear families growing more prevalent and dual-income households becoming the norm.
A family counselor at a leading Bangkok hospital observes, “In Thai tradition, family is considered the main pillar of support, but the gap between expectation and reality has widened. Young couples face higher costs for everything—education, housing, childcare—while also shouldering parental hopes for marriage and grandchildren. When the promised support from elders doesn’t materialize, feelings of frustration and even resentment can arise.”
Historically, Thailand’s extended family system functioned as an informal welfare network, providing childcare and favoring multi-generational households. However, economic transitions and the rise of individual career ambitions have shifted these dynamics. A recent survey by Mahidol University found that more than 60% of Thai respondents under 35 said they felt pressured by their parents to marry and have children, but less than 30% expected their own parents to provide consistent care for their grandchildren (Mahidol University survey).
These generational tensions are hardly unique to Thailand. Studies published in the Journal of Family Issues and Social Science & Medicine show similar trends across East and Southeast Asia, where modern labour markets, migration, and changing gender roles complicate the traditional grandparent-grandchild care model (PubMed). One longitudinal study from Japan, for example, found that while grandparents expressed willingness to help, their ability to do so often hinged on their health, finances, and proximity to adult children, casting doubt on the universality of the “grandparent safety net.”
Experts suggest several potential avenues to ease these pressures in Thailand. Governments can expand public childcare facilities, offer parental leave policies for both mothers and fathers, and support community parenting networks. Employers can be more accommodating to working parents through flexible scheduling and subsidized childcare support. At the household level, open discussions between generations about expectations versus reality can reduce resentment and foster collaboration. “Families must renegotiate what support means in today’s context,” says a sociology professor at Chulalongkorn University. “It’s about finding a middle ground where both generations feel respected and supported.”
For Thai couples contemplating parenthood, experts recommend clarifying expectations early—openly discussing roles, support needs, and financial implications with parents and extended family. Participating in local parent groups, both online and offline, can also help build new support networks that fill the gaps left by traditional family systems.
The story of the woman who called out the double standard resonates across borders, but its message is especially poignant for Thailand as it navigates the shifting currents of modern family life. By reflecting honestly on these issues, families and policymakers can better adapt their practices to fit the lived realities of today’s young parents.