A wave of recent research summarized in a major national publication questions long-held ideas about raising boys. The findings suggest that traditional expectations of male toughness and emotional restraint may hinder boys’ emotional health and overall development. For Thai parents and educators, the implications are significant as family life and schools continue to shape young people’s growth.
Globally, including Thailand, the prevailing view has been that boys must be strong, stoic, and less expressive to succeed. This mindset is reinforced by cultural norms, social media, and political rhetoric, which can lead boys to suppress feelings in favor of competition and achievement. New studies, however, indicate such approaches may misalign with boys’ developmental needs and could carry long-term costs for individuals and society.
Research across multiple countries consistently shows that parents tend to offer more nurturing activities—like storytelling, conversation, and emotional encouragement—to girls than to boys. A 2016 multinational analysis found that parents frequently read, sing, and tell stories with girls from infancy through preschool, while boys often receive less of this essential emotional support. A 2013 longitudinal study tracking more than 20,000 U.S. children found that parents report closer relationships with daughters than with sons and often feel too busy to engage in play with boys.
Observational studies also reveal gendered patterns: mothers tend to provide more comfort to daughters, while fathers respond to boys with language that emphasizes achievement and competition rather than emotion. A 2017 study noted that fathers used more emotionally rich language with girls but favored a performance-focused vocabulary with boys.
Biological research adds a further layer. Work by UCLA psychologist Allan N. Schore and colleagues indicates that brain circuits regulating stress mature more slowly in boys than in girls, making boys more vulnerable to emotional challenges early in life. This lag, though small—roughly a month in infancy—can translate into greater difficulty with emotional regulation and heightened sensitivity to negative events during early childhood.
These parenting patterns, combined with traditional gender norms and socioeconomic factors, can magnify disparities. Studies in various countries show that boys in single-parent, low-income households often face more academic and behavioral difficulties than girls in similar circumstances. Support programs for parents can help close these gaps by providing nurturing environments that offset biological risks.
For Thai families, the message matters. Cultural scripts that equate masculinity with stoicism and control—common in media, schools, and even certain religious teachings—may inadvertently contribute to boys’ emotional health challenges, academic hurdles, and, in some cases, riskier behavior. Experts warn that the effects can extend into adulthood, including higher rates of conduct disorders and social isolation.
Experts describe this as related to masculine discrepancy stress—the anxiety that arises when men and boys feel they do not meet society’s ideals of manhood. The solution is not swapping one stereotype for another but highlighting universally human traits such as empathy, nurturance, and agency in all children, regardless of gender.
Thai education reforms are beginning to reflect this shift. Some reformers advocate for more socioemotional learning in the national curriculum and for teacher training to better support mental health in schools. Counseling and life-skills programs are gradually gaining traction, while psychologists advise parents to spend more time in conversation, offer warmth, and praise emotional expression alongside achievement. Modeling vulnerability and open communication at home can help boys develop resilience and healthier self-esteem.
The takeaway is not to treat boys and girls exactly the same but to recognize each child’s unique emotional and developmental needs. As psychiatrist Sebastian Kraemer has noted, boys should be treated as whole human beings, with attention to both vulnerability and strength.
Change will take time. International experiences show that reshaping attitudes about gender and parenting is a gradual process. Still, parents and educators in Thailand can begin now by listening more, offering warmth, and equipping boys with emotional tools that support long-term well-being. Such efforts benefit individual health and contribute to a society where all youths—regardless of gender—can thrive.
Practical steps for Thai families include engaging more warmly with boys, supporting school programs that prioritize emotional health, and seeking parenting resources that address nurturing for both sons and daughters. Encouraging discussions about gender roles and providing opportunities for boys to express themselves through art, sports, and community activities can foster resilience and empathy.
This evolving understanding invites Thai households to reframe masculinity as a set of humane qualities—empathy, courage, and care—that empower all children to lead healthier, more connected lives.
Inquiries for readers: How can families, teachers, and communities in Thailand collaborate to integrate emotional learning into daily routines? What local programs or resources could support parents in nurturing boys’ emotional development alongside academic achievement?
Sources are integrated within the narrative to reflect current research and Thai context.