A new book invites parents to rethink their relationship with digital tools rather than abandon them. Amanda Hess’s Second Life: Having a Child in the Digital Age examines how technology already shapes modern parenting and suggests a gentler, more honest approach to navigating screens, apps, and algorithms that accompany family life. The discussion, highlighted in Mother Jones, emphasizes how digital life can support communities when used with intention rather than as a source of constant comparison.
For many Thai families, endless online parenting tips, influencer-driven advice, and development apps resemble a digital tide that both helps and overwhelms. Hess’s message resonates across Bangkok and provincial towns: pause and consider not just whether technology is useful, but how it reshapes self-image, expectations for children, and connections to the wider community. With rapid adoption of parenting tech—from baby monitors to educational apps—Thai households also feel social pressure from hyper-online circles.
Hess blends memoir with reporting to critique the “pastel chokehold” of curated online guidance for new parents. She recalls her pregnancy, tracking thousands of screenshots and digital chats, only to see that certainty through the internet is illusory. She notes that the web can feel like a space of reciprocal learning about what it means to become a parent, even as it often delivers mixed messages. This is especially relevant in Thailand, where smaller urban networks and greater isolation from extended families lead many parents to rely on digital spaces for support, sometimes at a cost.
A key takeaway is not that technology is inherently harmful, but that it subtly reshapes how parents view themselves and their children. The Snoo robotic crib, popular in international markets and increasingly visible in affluent Thai circles, is one example. Hess points out that marketing language around “Snoo Babies” or “Snoo Graduates” can create pressure. In Thai parenting communities, similar devices and structured e-learning subscriptions can fuel guilt and constant comparison among parents.
The book also addresses deeper concerns. Hess argues that the push toward “optimization”—aided by genetic screening and data-driven parenting—echoes longstanding perfectionism, reframed by digital tools. This caution is especially pertinent in Thai society, where educational competition and unequal access to technology can widen social gaps. Local child psychologists emphasize realistic expectations, noting that digital tools can heighten anxiety rather than relieve it when used without balance.
Hess does not advocate rejecting technology altogether. Instead, she promotes mindful, intentional use of tools—favoring simple devices that perform one function without encouraging pervasive surveillance. She praises practical, non-intrusive tech that aligns with a Thai ethos of moderation and practical wisdom. This approach encourages Thai families to steward technology in a way that supports well-being rather than dominating daily life.
The book places current digital parenting trends within a broader political context: when governments fail to provide robust support—such as affordable childcare or parental leave—families turn to commercial products. This is a familiar challenge in Thailand, where formal state supports remain inconsistent for many new parents, particularly outside Bangkok and among informal workers. Data from Thailand’s public health and labor sectors shows that tech solutions cannot substitute for effective policy reforms or community care.
Hess advocates renewed emphasis on community-based support, mutual aid, and a shift away from viewing family life as an individual optimization race. For Thai communities, this aligns with the traditional value of krueng jai—caring across generations and networks beyond the immediate family. Local parenting groups, both online and offline, can prioritize practical guidance and mutual support over gadget-driven conversations, reflecting Hess’s experiences with supportive networks rather than product-centric chats.
A practical takeaway for Thai parents is to resist the digital marketplace’s promise of perfect parenting. Choose tools that genuinely meet family needs, not those that seek external validation. Seek support from real-world networks—neighborhood groups, local health professionals, and extended family when possible. Push policymakers to strengthen structural supports for parents so that no one feels isolated with an app or device as the sole source of comfort.
For families navigating parenthood in the digital age, Hess’s message remains relevant: use technology wisely, but recognize that genuine community care and self-worth come from human connection, not devices. This perspective can resonate across social strata, from urban high-rises to rural communities, as Thai culture integrates new technologies with time-honored values.
To engage thoughtfully with technology in family life, Thai parents can join local mutual aid groups, adopt only tools that reduce stress, and remain skeptical of narratives that elevate products over people. As childhood and caregiving become increasingly commodified, Thailand’s strength lies in blending modern tools with collective compassion.