Recent research underscores how seemingly ordinary parenting behaviors can deeply impact children’s trust, highlighting seven actions that children often interpret as betrayal. The findings shed light on the sensitive nature of child-parent relationships and encourage a reassessment of everyday parental conduct, reinforcing the need for mindful communication and consistency in family life. These revelations are significant for Thai parents, educators, and mental health professionals who strive to nurture emotionally resilient and well-adjusted youth.
Although many caregivers believe their actions are benign or even beneficial, a growing body of psychological research now shows that specific behaviors—such as breaking promises, dismissing feelings, or comparing siblings—can leave children feeling hurt or betrayed. The new report aligns with developmental psychology studies suggesting that a child’s sense of security is fundamentally shaped by the reliability and empathy demonstrated by adults in their lives (APA, Frontiers in Psychology).
According to the article “7 things that feel like betrayal to children” from the Times of India, the most common experiences children associate with betrayal include breaking promises, dismissing or belittling their emotions, comparing them to others (especially siblings), invalidating their experiences, failing to keep secrets confidential, punishing them for honesty, and withdrawing affection as a form of discipline (Times of India). Each of these behaviors can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and trust, potentially leading to long-term consequences in emotional regulation, self-esteem, and the ability to form healthy relationships later in life.
Child development experts emphasize that feeling betrayed, even by small acts, makes children question the dependability of those closest to them. “Children internalize these experiences and may develop anxiety, withdrawal, or behavioral issues,” said an associate director from the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service at King Chulalongkorn Memorial Hospital in Bangkok. International research, such as a 2017 review published in Frontiers in Psychology, corroborates these assertions, linking early trust violations with negative developmental outcomes (Frontiers in Psychology).
In the Thai context, where family hierarchy and respect for elders are cultural cornerstones, misunderstandings and hurt can easily arise when parents or teachers overlook children’s feelings or enforce strict comparisons with siblings. A child psychologist from Mahidol University’s Faculty of Social Sciences and Humanities explained, “While Thai culture values harmony and respect, it’s important for parents to remember that children need validation and consistency. When adults make promises and fail to keep them, or use children’s honesty against them, it can be profoundly damaging.”
This context is not limited to urban households; rural families, especially those affected by economic stress or migration, may also inadvertently fall into patterns where emotional needs are overlooked. The Education Ministry has recently highlighted the importance of social and emotional learning (SEL) in Thai schools, promoting curricula that foster empathy, emotional awareness, and trust-building exercises (Ministry of Education Thailand).
Historically, Thai society has encouraged emotional restraint in children, sometimes leading to suppression of negative feelings. While this has strengths in maintaining social order, experts note the risk of children lacking the language and confidence to express when they feel hurt or betrayed. This emphasis on harmony may unintentionally silence young voices, making it pivotal for caregivers to proactively check in on children’s emotional states.
Looking ahead, mental health professionals suggest parents and teachers pay careful attention to language, promises, and disciplinary actions. Simple changes, such as validating a child’s emotions even if they seem trivial, and maintaining openness about mistakes, can foster a climate of trust. Research further recommends family activities that build open communication, such as regular “family meetings” or collaborative storytelling, which are increasingly popular in Thai urban settings.
For Thai families seeking to improve relationships and support children’s emotional health, experts offer these practical steps: Keep promises, however small, or explain honestly when circumstances change. Avoid comparisons between siblings, focusing on each child’s unique qualities. When disciplining, separate the behavior from the child, and never withdraw affection as punishment. Keep confidences unless safety is at risk and encourage honest dialogues without fear of retribution. Schools are also encouraged to incorporate SEL initiatives, as these have shown success in reducing conflict and boosting student well-being (Harvard Graduate School of Education, Unicef Thailand).
This new research serves as a timely reminder: what adults regard as minor infractions may loom large in the hearts and minds of children. By recognizing these “small betrayals,” Thai caregivers and educators can lay a stronger foundation for children’s mental health and resilience. To best support young Thais, the call to action from child development specialists is clear—listen closely, validate frequently, and lead by empathetic example.