A growing body of research and expert insight warns that while resilience is widely celebrated as the ability to overcome adversity, there is a darker side known as “toxic resilience”—when the drive to push through hardships becomes harmful, leading to deeper exhaustion and burnout. As Thai society embraces values of perseverance and adaptability, understanding the difference between healthy and toxic resilience is especially relevant for those juggling the demands of work, education, and family life.
Resilience, by the textbook definition of the American Psychological Association, is “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.” In practice, this means bouncing back after setbacks, whether recovering from a job loss, navigating a stressful home environment, or excelling in school after failure. In Thai culture, this ability is often closely linked to the Buddhist concept of “khanti” (patience and forbearance), reinforcing the ideal of perseverance.
However, as highlighted in a recent HuffPost feature with insights from international psychologists and stress researchers, resilience can turn toxic when individuals force themselves to “power through and bounce back even when [they] shouldn’t,” resulting in persistent stress, fatigue, and both mental and physical breakdown.
According to a stress researcher at Harvard University, toxic resilience manifests in situations where individuals disregard the need for rest or support, “bullying themselves” to do more, be more, and mask their growing distress under a façade of strength. This is often fueled by so-called “hustle culture”—a phenomenon familiar in Thailand’s fast-growing urban workplaces and academic environments, where long hours and “pushing through” are rewarded. As a clinical director of a wellness center in Toronto puts it, “A lot of people use resilience as a way to bully themselves into a motivational stance towards doing more, being more … and it starts to feel a lot like performance and less like actual growth.”
Somatic therapists note that in today’s society, perfectionism and overachievement are glorified. “You’re seen as more successful—more valuable, even—if you can do more. And I think that’s leading to a ton of burnout,” explains a therapist and coach based in Texas. Instead of taking breaks or acknowledging burnout, many believe that “if I keep going, things will get better.” But pushing beyond your “window of tolerance”—that inner limit where stress becomes overwhelming—can eventually result in disconnection from your own needs, causing both mental and physical harm.
Even when this constant drive appears to produce rewards—a promotion at work, high marks in school, or praise from superiors—the cost can outweigh the benefits. The therapist cautions, “That still doesn’t make it a fair way to treat your body and mind.” Over-functioning can be especially damaging to individuals with traumatic backgrounds, who may be even more prone to overworking as a coping mechanism.
These patterns are not unique to Western societies. In Thailand, the value placed on enduring hardship, saving face, and relentless progress sometimes discourages people from seeking support or acknowledging when enough is enough. Professional counselors at leading Thai universities and private clinics often observe that students and professionals may continue overextending themselves, fearing the appearance of “weakness” or letting down family expectations.
The article also highlights a crucial distinction in the debate over resilience: tolerating unfair or harmful situations is not true resilience, but often a trauma response. One therapist compares healthy resilience to a gym workout—stress and discomfort can signal growth, but there are limits to what the body and mind can safely absorb. A wellness director notes, “You’ve got to be open to investigating whether or not you actually need that kind of discomfort to grow in the ways you want to grow, and if you don’t, then what are you being resilient against?”
In Thai work and educational environments, where “krang jai” (consideration for others and reluctance to impose) may compound reluctance to take breaks or speak up, this insight is particularly relevant. Accepting overwork or tolerating toxic situations is not resilience; it is a draining burden that can have long-term consequences on mental and physical health.
Moving toward what experts describe as “embodied resilience” means paying attention to your own physiological and emotional needs. It is not about living up to external standards or definitions of strength, but instead asking, “What does my body need? And how do I tend to it so that I can keep going?” A therapist emphasizes, “The difference between someone being like, ‘Oh, she’s so resilient because she overworks,’ versus ‘She’s so resilient because she takes care of herself,’ is almost like a different starting and ending point, the outcome being your well-being.”
For Thai readers, with mounting pressures from urbanization, social media comparison, and economic uncertainty, the lesson is clear: resilience is not about “shutting up and taking it.” Rather, it is about tending to one’s own needs—physical, mental, and social—and refusing to accept chronic stress or unfair demands as an unavoidable part of life. This is particularly important for those in high-pressure jobs, competitive academic tracks, or caregiving roles, where the boundaries between healthy ambition and harmful overexertion can be blurred.
Practical recommendations for recognizing toxic resilience include regularly assessing your stress levels, being attuned to signs of burnout (such as chronic fatigue, irritability, or withdrawal), and challenging the idea that overwork is synonymous with success. In Thailand, where family and community support are strong cultural values, drawing on these networks—and seeking professional mental health guidance when needed—can significantly improve outcomes. Adjustments such as negotiating for work-life balance, setting boundaries with supervisors or classmates, and prioritising rest and self-care are acts of strength, not weakness.
Ultimately, the new understanding of toxic resilience offers a roadmap for healthier progress—one where the valued Thai traits of perseverance and patience are balanced by compassion for oneself and acceptance of human limits. The hope is that by fostering “embodied resilience,” individuals and the broader Thai society can achieve sustainable growth and well-being without sacrificing mental health or quality of life.
For those feeling overwhelmed, mental health resources are increasingly available in Thailand, including hotlines, counseling services, and online platforms. The first step is simply acknowledging that breaks, boundaries, and vulnerability are as crucial as perseverance in life’s journey.
For further reading on resilience and its effects, see the original article at HuffPost, as well as research from the American Psychological Association and local mental health organizations like the Department of Mental Health Thailand.