Thailand finds itself at a crossroads of rapid social change: modern families are now grappling with questions of how best to raise children, as Western influences blend with longstanding Thai cultural traditions. A recent opinion published in The Guardian, penned by a grandparent observing the stark contrasts between parenting in Spain and the UK, has ignited fresh debate about “child-centred” parenting, a model increasingly popular across Thailand’s middle class. The writer argues that the Spanish “family-centred” approach nurtures happier, more grounded children compared to English-style “child-centredness,” which may inadvertently fuel anxiety and dependency. This raises urgent questions for Thai families—should we reconsider where the family, rather than the child, stands at the heart of our values?
The letter’s core argument is that while non-violence and respect for children are non-negotiable, the pivot in some societies towards putting the child’s perceived needs above all else has gone too far. In Spain, the group—the family—takes precedence. Children are expected from birth to fit within this collective, rather than being “the centre of the universe.” According to the author’s personal observations of both cultures, the results are profound: Spanish children, the letter claims, are less attention-seeking, more emotionally secure, and parents are less frustrated or aggressive. This perspective invites cautious local introspection, especially as Thai parenting, traditionally family-oriented, is pulled towards globalised models that promote individual expression and self-actualisation.
Child-rearing, experts agree, is always a product of its cultural environment. Thailand’s familial landscape has experienced seismic shifts in the past generation: smaller family units, urban migration, and exposure to Western educational and parenting philosophies have transformed what it means to “raise a good child.” In many Bangkok families, parents now work longer hours and invest more in structured activities designed to maximise their child’s strengths, a trend often described as “child-centred.” Yet concerns echo those highlighted in The Guardian: is excessive attention inadvertently undermining resilience, adaptability, and collective family harmony—the very strengths that have historically defined Thai households?
Research offers deeper insight into these contrasting approaches. An influential cross-cultural study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health compared adolescents in Spain, Portugal, and Brazil, focusing on parenting styles and outcomes for self-esteem and value internalisation (MDPI). The study classified family approaches as authoritative (warm and strict), indulgent (warm but lenient), authoritarian (strict but cold), and neglectful (lacking both warmth and strictness). Notably, in Spain’s more family-oriented environment, the “indulgent” style—characterised by warmth and inclusion within the group—was associated with the highest self-esteem and strongest internalisation of prosocial values among adolescents. Authoritarian and neglectful styles, by contrast, consistently produced the poorest results, while authoritative (warm and strict) parenting fostered high value internalisation but not always the highest self-esteem.
This data is not simply theoretical. According to one Spanish psychologist involved in the study, “Our research suggests that in cultures where the family operates as an integrated, equal unit, warmth and group belonging have a uniquely protective effect. Children thrive not by having their every whim met, but by knowing they are loved and expected to contribute to the well-being of all.” These findings resonate with the cultural message of the Guardian letter—and with traditional Thai values where family harmony, respect for elders, and mutual support have long been central.
Why does this matter for Thai society? As Thailand’s education system and urban middle class absorb ideas from Europe and the global West, including the United Nations’ rights-based framework for children, cultural tensions emerge. Thai teachers, psychologists, and parent groups now debate how much autonomy and “voice” children should have—and whether the pendulum is swinging too far in the direction of individualism. Some Thai education experts, citing both local experience and international studies, caution against approaches that reduce parental authority and invest disproportionate resources in catering to children’s preferences. As explained by a lecturer in childhood studies at a leading Thai university, “In our context, mutual respect and collective responsibility have always balanced the recognition of children’s rights. We risk weakening these social bonds if we abandon them in favour of Western individualism.”
Further research on Spanish parenting underpins this. A 2020 study found that the “indulgent” Spanish model, which prioritises family happiness and warmth over strictness or child centrism, led to higher self-esteem, academic achievement, and internalisation of values like universalism and benevolence (MDPI). Spanish adolescents reported better mental health and lower aggression—outcomes also valued by Thai families. Another comparative study noted that Spanish parents tend to view the household as a collective, setting boundaries and expectations that protect both child and parental well-being (The Guardian).
Data visualisations across studies in Spain and the UK show a trend where child-centredness correlates with higher rates of anxiety and parental stress, while family-centred societies maintain stronger intergenerational bonds and report higher collective well-being (ResearchGate). This does not mean that child agency should be suppressed—rather, that balance is crucial.
Historical context deepens understanding: both Spanish and Thai family traditions emerged from collectivist cultures, but faced with global change, each adapted differently. In Spain, as in Thailand, older generations recall a time of “tough love,” strict discipline, and clear hierarchies. Yet in both countries, harsh physical punishment has been largely disavowed. The contemporary Spanish model, as described in recent studies, reflects a mature collectivism—one that simultaneously rejects abuse, provides emotional warmth, and preserves the family group as the reference point. Thailand, with its own evolution from extended kin networks to urban nuclear families, now stands at a similar juncture.
Looking ahead, the future of parenting in Thailand will be shaped by a convergence of cultural values and evidence-based research. There is growing demand for pragmatic, balanced strategies that respect children’s voices but do not sacrifice the collective strength of the family unit. Policy-makers, educators, and mental health experts increasingly recognise this need. For example, recent Ministry of Education guidelines on “Family Engagement in Learning” emphasise co-responsibility, shared decision-making, and prioritising communal well-being—a marked shift from the hyper-individualism sometimes imported from the West.
The actionable message for Thai families is clear: resist extremes. Neither the “child-centred” model that risks creating entitled or fragile offspring, nor a return to authoritarian rigidity, truly serves the best interests of children or society. Instead, parents can draw inspiration from research and cultures like Spain’s: prioritise group belonging, establish family routines and boundaries, and nurture warmth without overindulgence. Simple practices such as shared meals, age-appropriate household responsibilities, and open yet respectful conversation can lay the foundations for durable self-esteem and strong social values.
For those seeking further support, reaching out to local family counselling services, joining parenting workshops at schools or temples, and following government child development guidelines offer accessible steps. Thai families are uniquely positioned to blend the best of traditional wisdom with the insights of international research—making the family, not just the child, the true heart of a happy and resilient nation.
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