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"Good Job" or Missed Opportunity? New Research Illuminates the Power—and Limits—of Parental Praise

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Recent headlines have ignited a lively debate among educators, psychologists, and parents about a long-repeated phrase: “good job.” Emerging research, prominent opinion columns like the recent Globe and Mail feature, and expert commentary are challenging the effectiveness—and even appropriateness—of generic praise in child development. As the school year draws to a close in Thailand, understanding the science behind praise has practical implications for teachers, parents, and policymakers seeking to nurture resilient, self-motivated youth.

For generations, Thai parents and teachers have relied on praise as a key ingredient for positive reinforcement. Expressions such as “ทำดีมาก” (tham dee mak – “good job”) are staples in classrooms and kitchens across the country, often delivered with a smile and a nod of approval. Yet, a wave of research and expert analysis suggests the story is more complex—which matters, given Thailand’s deep-rooted cultural emphasis on education, achievement, and familial harmony.

The debate centers on whether telling children “good job” is uplifting encouragement or, paradoxically, a limiting and counterproductive response. According to leading child psychologists, the impact of praise depends not just on the act itself, but on its specificity, genuineness, and focus (“Maximizing the Effectiveness of Child Praise,” Baker Center, 2023). This contention gains support from studies published in leading journals, which reveal that surface-level praise—such as the habitual “good job”—may lack the power to motivate lasting growth or resilience, and can even undermine a child’s intrinsic motivation (The effects of praise: Evidence-based tips, Parenting Science; Ask the Cognitive Scientist, American Educator, 2005-06).

Child development experts, both international and in Thailand, warn that vague affirmations may do little to help young people understand what they’ve actually accomplished. The more children hear generic praise, the less certain they are about the specific behaviors or qualities that earned it (Five Reasons to Stop Saying ‘Good Job!’ by Alfie Kohn). As noted by one Canadian child psychologist cited in the Globe and Mail article, “It’s the strongest external reinforcement we can provide our children. … But we can elevate the impact of our praise by having it be specific, genuine and focused on the effort, rather than the outcome.”

This distinction between “process praise” (praising effort, strategy, and persistence) and “person praise” (praising inherent talent or intelligence) has repeatedly surfaced in psychological research, including the seminal work of Carol Dweck on “growth mindset” (Child development: The right kind of early praise, Science Daily, 2013). Children recognized for their effort, patience, or problem-solving are more likely to approach new challenges optimistically and see mistakes as opportunities, whereas those who receive praise for being “smart” or “the best” can become anxious about sustaining the label and less willing to experiment outside their comfort zone.

As Thailand’s educational landscape becomes ever-more competitive and digital parenting advice proliferates, mixed messages abound. Influential voices on social media and local parenting forums tout the importance of affirming children, but often without clarity on method or intent (Should Parents Really Stop Praising Their Children?, Psychology Today, 2022). At the same time, critics worry that “over-praising”—or focusing solely on the positive—risks cultivating a fragile self-esteem, prone to crumbling under pressure or criticism (Is saying “good job” to my child harmful?, Reddit, 2023).

A 2025 study in the journal “Child Psychology” investigated how the accuracy of parental praise—and alignment with actual child performance—shapes children’s self-perceptions and mental health. The researchers found that both generic and inaccurate praise can contribute to perfectionist tendencies, with children becoming preoccupied with parental surveillance and approval (PubMed: “How Perceptions of the Accuracy of Parental Praise and Criticism Link With Child Adjustment: The Mediating Role of Perfectionism,” 2025). In contrast, when children are praised for observable, specific actions—such as “I saw how patiently you finished your drawing” or “Your choice of colors is so thoughtful”—they internalize a more robust sense of personal agency and worth.

Yet, praise is not to be discarded entirely. Thai cultural traditions place great value on encouraging words—whether from parents (ผู้ปกครอง), teachers (ครูประจำชั้น), or community leaders. In rural schools, recognition ceremonies and scouting badges are cherished rites of passage. Celebrations of academic or artistic achievement are long-standing ways to foster community pride and individual aspiration. In fact, modern behavioral science agrees with tradition to the extent that children need affirmation to feel seen and valued (Research shows praising children five times a day has positive impact, De Montfort University, 2019).

Still, the research now encourages a shift from frequency to substance. “It is easy to say ‘good job!’ and I do, all the time. But as an educator, I know it’s much more meaningful to focus on the intrinsic motivator … it just takes so much more effort,” stated a school administrator cited in the Globe and Mail. In line with this thinking, some Thai early childhood centers have begun to focus on reflective conversation techniques, such as asking children what strategies they used on a project, or what challenges they overcame, instead of giving blanket praise (Beyond ‘Good Job’ – Praise that Pulls for a Child’s Growth and Development, Early Learning Nation, 2021).

International organizations, including UNICEF Thailand, now train teachers and parents to deliver “labeled praise”—that is, statements that identify exactly what the child did well (“You worked so hard to finish your homework before dinner” or “I noticed you helped your friend without being asked”). According to research reviewed by the US Army’s Family & Morale, Welfare and Recreation (FMWR) (Effective praise is important part of parenting), this approach not only boosts motivation but strengthens the child’s sense of competence and belonging.

The future implications are profound. Recent neuroscience studies reveal that targeted, effort-based praise stimulates the same neural reward circuits as tangible rewards, but with the added benefit of embedding a lifelong growth mindset (PubMed: “Adolescents’ affective and neural responses to parental praise and criticism,” 2022). Schools in Singapore, South Korea, and Japan, operating in cultures similar to Thailand’s, are integrating these principles into teacher training and curricular design—a likely trajectory for Thai education reform in the coming decade.

There are potential pitfalls, however. Thai parents—especially those working long hours or facing social and economic hardship—may find it challenging to break ingrained habits or make time for detailed engagement with their children’s efforts. Some critics warn of creating new pressures to “praise correctly,” adding stress to already-overextended caregivers (Should I stop saying ‘good job’ to my kid?, Medium, 2023). Others note that cultural variability plays a role: in Thai society, where collectivism and respect for elders are prized, overly individualized praise could conflict with broader community values.

Nonetheless, the research consensus offers practical guidance for Thai families and educators: swap non-specific praise for effort-focused, behavior-specific acknowledgment. Instead of “เก่งมาก” (“excellent”), try “คุณตั้งใจทำการบ้านด้วยตัวเอง ฉันภูมิใจในความพยายามของคุณ” (“You focused on your homework by yourself. I’m proud of your effort”).

To put research into action, experts recommend that Thai caregivers:

  • Practice “labeled praise” by naming the child’s behavior, not just the result (Maximizing the Effectiveness of Child Praise)
  • Focus on effort, strategy, and persistence, rather than fixed traits like “cleverness” or “talent” (The ‘praise balance’: Process vs. Person Praise)
  • Encourage children to reflect on their own achievements, fostering pride rooted in internal satisfaction rather than external approval
  • Balance praise with constructive feedback and opportunities for self-assessment

In an era of rapid social and educational change, helping Thai children learn to savor the process, embrace setbacks, and grow from effort is perhaps the highest praise one can offer. As one local education specialist summarized: “True encouragement is when a child knows they are valued not for being perfect, but for trying, learning, and becoming themselves—one step at a time.”

For parents and teachers across Thailand, the key is not to abandon praise, but to transform it—making every “good job” an invitation for deeper conversation, self-belief, and lasting success.

For further reading and actionable tips on effective praise, visit Parenting Science, American Psychological Association, and the UNICEF Thailand parenting portal.

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