A British clinical psychologist has sparked international debate by suggesting that what sounds like encouragement from a friend can conceal a toxic dynamic. This insight offers valuable lessons for Thai audiences navigating friendship boundaries in a social-media era.
In Thai culture, friendship is central to emotional wellbeing and is often seen as a lifelong bond built on respect and mutual support. With face and social reputation playing important roles, it is crucial to distinguish genuine encouragement from covert hostility, especially as interactions increasingly move online where sarcasm can be subtle.
The psychologist, sharing in a concise TikTok video, highlights three warning signs that a friendship may be unhealthy. First, the connection feels conditional on keeping one partner small or non-threatening, indicating a subtle power imbalance. Second, boundaries are routinely ignored, and manipulation replaces respect when a person says no. Third, praise that seems uplifting can carry an undercurrent of sarcasm, rivalry, or contempt. This third point echoes reports from researchers and media outlets about how seemingly friendly remarks can mask hostility.
Experts note that even seemingly kind comments can carry hidden contempt. When friends celebrate your good news but follow with veiled insults, or when they respond to your struggles by outdoing your story with their own troubles, the relationship may be failing to nourish your wellbeing. In Thai terms, this resonates with the idea of “khon mai chai phuen”—a person who pretends to be a friend but is, in fact, an adversary in disguise. Such dynamics threaten collective harmony, a value deeply rooted in Thai communities.
People reacting to the video shared experiences of recognizing these patterns in their own lives. Some reflected on why they tolerate such behavior due to fears around intimacy, while others described relief after choosing healthier connections. A TikTok commenter urged viewers to seek peaceful, supportive friendships rather than social convenience.
Across Thailand, these signs align with local observations of unhealthy peer dynamics in schools and workplaces. The culture of “nam jai” (generosity of spirit) and indirect communication can obscure underlying hostility, making it harder to address. Thai researchers and clinicians have warned that polite language and avoidance of confrontation can mask problems, allowing toxic behaviors to persist.
The conversation also highlights additional subtle indicators: persistent sarcasm about achievements, minimization of hardships, or increasing social exclusion when fortunes improve. In a society that prioritizes group harmony, such “praise with a sting” can go unchallenged and quietly erode self-esteem.
Mental health professionals emphasize self-reflection and clear boundary-setting. The psychologist behind the viral clip encourages people to reassess relationships that drain energy and joy. Thai therapists advocate open communication while recognizing the cultural complexities of preserving face and maintaining social cohesion.
Academic research supports the link between toxic social ties and mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, and lower self-worth. Data from leading institutions shows that jealousy, covert hostility, and constant comparison contribute to emotional exhaustion in both adolescents and adults. A Thai university psychologist notes that silent rivalry and unkind comparisons erode a person’s sense of belonging.
Thai society’s strong sense of interconnectedness can be both protective and risky. While community support buffers stress, the subtleties of krengjai—careful politeness—can hinder recognition and addressing of unhealthy relationships. Students and young professionals may fear social disapproval if they voice discomfort or end toxic friendships.
Looking ahead, ignoring these dynamics can affect individual mental health and social cohesion. Thailand’s mental health awareness is increasing, but stigma remains. Recognizing and addressing unhealthy relationships can be a critical step toward wellbeing. Schools and workplaces are exploring programs to teach emotional intelligence, healthy rivalry, and conflict resolution, alongside peer-support initiatives.
For Thai readers, the takeaway is to listen to how you feel during and after interactions. If praise feels condescending, joys are minimized, or boundary-setting triggers guilt, reassess the relationship. Seek relationships built on mutual support and sincerity, not mere social convenience.
If a friendship shows veiled insults, passive competitiveness, or a consistent lack of respect for your feelings, consider speaking with a counselor or mental health professional. In Thailand, confidential resources exist through trusted institutions and national health services to support those navigating complex social dynamics.
Actionable steps: reflect on personal friendships, set clear boundaries, and prioritise genuine encouragement over superficial approval. Healthy friendships uplift you not just in public, but in moments of triumph and hardship. Strengthening mutual support is essential for individual wellbeing and the nation’s communal resilience.
For further context, readers can consult broader analyses in reputable sources about the link between social dynamics and mental health, and draw on Thai-language guides on healthy relationships offered by local health organizations.