The debate over whether a child is a “living room kid” or a “bedroom kid” is stirring interest among parents, psychologists, and educators across the globe, with implications resonating right here in Thailand. As new parenting trends sweep through social media, the question of where children prefer to spend their time at home is emerging as a unique lens into family dynamics, parenting styles, and even children’s mental health.
This topic’s rise in prominence reveals more than just quirks—it speaks to the core of childhood safety, comfort, and the way Thai families can nurture their home environments. According to a recent feature in the New York Post, the choice between shared family spaces and private bedrooms is far from trivial. Experts argue that a child’s preferred environment reveals important clues about their personality, developmental stage, and underlying feelings of security within the family.
“Living room kids,” according to parenting influencers and mental health professionals cited in the report, are children who gravitate to the heart of the home: the living room, kitchen, or dining area. They thrive in communal settings, are more likely to be loud, playful, and “all up under you because they belong here.” This behaviour suggests a sense of safety and comfort, with the busy sounds of family life becoming, as one expert says, “the sound of safety, of comfort, and of connection.”
Conversely, “bedroom kids” tend to retreat to the privacy of their own space, engaging in solitary activities and preferring quiet. Experts like the associate clinical director from the Kid’s Mental Health Foundation caution not to over-pathologise this behaviour. Children might seek their bedrooms for many reasons: natural introversion, the need to decompress after a socially exhausting school day, family conflict, or simply a developmental push towards independence, especially as children enter their pre-teen and teenage years.
Thai families can relate to these trends, especially in multi-generational homes or compact condominiums common in Bangkok and other urban areas. Traditional Thai values have long emphasised family togetherness, often centred in communal spaces such as the sala (living area). Yet, as lifestyles shift towards more private and compartmentalised living, particularly in urban settings, the rise of “bedroom kids” is increasingly evident among Thai youth.
On the podcast “How Married Are You?!” co-hosts described their children’s habit of congregating in the kitchen regardless of the house’s size—a scenario that resonates with many Thai parents who might wonder why their children always seem to be underfoot in shared spaces. The answer, as the hosts discovered, is an underappreciated gift: togetherness that will be missed when it is gone.
However, it’s vital to dig beneath the surface. As emphasised by the clinical director from the Kid’s Mental Health Foundation in the source article, a child’s choice of space may at times signal distress. For example, children who suddenly change their routine—retreating from communal life to bedroom isolation—may be signalling a need for attention or support. “Safety could play a role,” she highlights, noting that factors such as family conflict, a child’s stage of development, and cultural expectations also come into play.
Dr. Thomas Priolo, a child psychiatrist with Hackensack Meridian Health, expands on this, explaining that the move to spend more time in one’s bedroom during adolescence is a normal assertion of independence. For Thai families, this tendency may be particularly noticeable during the stressful ป.6 (Prathom 6) and ม.3 (Mathayom 3) transition years, as students face high-pressure entrance exams or growing social expectations.
In the Thai context, academic pressure is intense and often cited as a source of family tension and mental health struggles among Thai youth (Kiatpongsan et al., 2019). A child’s preference for their bedroom could reflect a healthy need to recover from school-related stress, but it can also mask problems if it signals emotional withdrawal.
Dr. Martha Deiros Collado, a clinical psychologist interviewed by Newsweek, presents another perspective. She suggests that family policies about toys and personal items in communal spaces communicate subtle but powerful messages to children about belonging. If a Thai family requires toys to be tidied away after play, or relegates children’s personal items strictly to bedrooms, it may unintentionally reinforce the idea that shared spaces “belong” to adults.
In traditional Thai homes, the living room often plays a central role in family gatherings, religious ceremonies, and receiving guests, while children’s play may be relegated to bedrooms or outside. Modern parenting experts, however, encourage families to allow children to take up space in common areas, viewing the accompanying mess and noise as hallmarks of a safe and welcoming environment.
The article further notes that there’s no uniform right or wrong answer—each family should strive for balance. Dr. Priolo recommends parents pay attention not just to where their children prefer to be, but why. A flexible home environment—one where children feel safe both in private and shared areas—has lasting benefits: “Rather than viewing it as ‘living room’ versus ‘bedroom kids,’ the best way to view it is as a house and making sure that kids feel safe no matter where they are.”
For parents, especially in the context of crowded Thai urban housing, the call is to foster both togetherness and respect for privacy. As one Thai school counselor (whose identity is withheld per reporting protocols) reflected, “During family hours, we see children in the living room watching lakorn (soap operas) together, but it’s equally important to allow private time—especially during exam periods or after emotional days at school.”
There are risks to both extremes. Overcrowding and lack of privacy can contribute to tension and frustration, particularly for adolescents. But excessive isolation can also be a warning sign of mental health issues, particularly for children struggling with social anxiety or depressive symptoms (World Health Organization, 2022). Thai health professionals encourage regular check-ins with children about their emotional state, and for parents to be vigilant if a typically social child starts withdrawing.
Culturally, Thailand’s respect for elders and value on hierarchy may also influence children’s behaviour in shared spaces. Children may perceive adult-dominated areas as “off limits” unless explicitly welcomed. Encouragingly, more Thai families are recognising the importance of open dialogue and child-friendly spaces at home.
Further, Thailand’s urbanisation trend is shrinking home sizes (National Statistical Office, 2023), leading to more families sharing tight quarters—making the negotiation over personal versus communal space even more relevant. In rural settings, open-air living remains common, but social media exposure is shaping even these environments as children become more aware of global trends.
Looking ahead, educational and mental health professionals recommend that parents remain observant and adaptable. The rise of “bedroom kids” may increase as digital devices and online learning take a greater share of leisure time—a phenomenon heightened by the transition to remote education during the pandemic (UNICEF, 2022). Balancing screen time with family engagement is now an ongoing challenge.
Actionable recommendations for Thai parents include scheduling regular family meals in shared spaces, encouraging open conversation about personal boundaries, and designing home environments that signal warmth and acceptance. For children who retreat, parents could gently invite them to join shared activities, but avoid pressuring them if they express a real need for alone time. At the same time, noticing major changes in social behaviour—like a social child suddenly becoming withdrawn—should prompt open, supportive conversations, or, if needed, consultation with a school counselor or mental health professional.
Ultimately, the “living room kid” versus “bedroom kid” distinction is not a rigid label, but an invitation for self-reflection and adaptability. As one Thai psychologist (name withheld) summarised, “It’s about making every room in the house a place where a child feels they truly belong.”
For further reading and perspectives on Thai youth mental health, home environments, and raising resilient children, readers are encouraged to consult resources from the World Health Organization, UNICEF Thailand, and the Department of Mental Health Thailand.