The harsh truth in parenting is rarely about the child who is bullied; it can be the child who bullies. A recent Times feature, The last parenting taboo: admitting your child is the bully, uses personal stories, research, and insights from anti-bullying specialists to urge families and schools to confront this uncomfortable reality with honesty and practical steps.
In Thailand, the challenge carries a distinct cultural weight. Thai families often value harmony and protecting family dignity, which can make acknowledging harmful behavior feel like a personal failure. Yet open, constructive conversations about bullying remain essential for safeguarding children and communities.
The Times piece follows families facing complaints from schools and activity groups, tracing the emotional arc from denial to accountability. Reports describe incidents ranging from exclusion at lunch to direct teasing and aggression at home. One girl, portrayed as a natural leader, resisted discussion, heightening parental frustration.
Parents quoted in the article reveal diverse reactions. A father, recalling his own past as a target of bullying, admits anger and sorrow about his daughter’s actions and questions the school’s restorative approaches. A mother worries about underlying issues and embarrassment from a public apology, though she doubts social media plays a role due to strict controls at home. This contrast highlights the emotional fault lines bullying cases often expose within families.
The issue is not confined to the UK. A 2024 Bangkok survey by the Stop Child Abuse Campaign shows Thai parents also hesitate to acknowledge if their child bullies others, fearing stigma and school reputation damage. The Thai emphasis on group harmony can impede honest reflection, yet denying the problem carries serious consequences. As the Times recounts, years of excusing harmful behavior can lead to social isolation for the perpetrator.
Research underscores that bullying rarely happens in isolation. The Anti-Bullying Alliance notes that about one in four children experience bullying annually and that incidents typically involve groups, not just a pair. Bystanders—those who laugh, stay silent, or hesitate to intervene—also play a role. In Thai classrooms, similar patterns appear. The 2023 Ministry of Education report found that up to 40% of bullying incidents involved three or more students: the bully, the victim, and bystanders.
Experts call for comprehensive, proactive responses. Kidscape, a leading anti-bullying charity, stresses cooperation among parents, schools, and children. Their co-director notes that discovering one’s child is the aggressor often comes as a shock and urges families to help children recognize wrongdoing and choose better paths. He also notes that trauma or exposure to negative behavior at home or online can influence bullying.
The Anti-Bullying Alliance also advocates for mandatory anti-bullying training for teachers, a policy not yet adopted in the UK or Thailand. The charity’s director emphasizes early intervention and sees bullying as a behavior to be redirected rather than a fixed label. She points out that young children can exhibit hurtful behavior, and prompt guidance can prevent entrenched patterns. With rising online and sexual bullying, open dialogue about healthy relationships and a safe family environment is vital.
Global studies such as the Health Behaviour in School-aged Children project consistently show that boys are more often both perpetrators and victims, with the gender gap shifting during adolescence. Thai data mirrors these dynamics, though there is a notable rise in indirect bullying among girls, including social exclusion and rumor-spreading. Findings from the Thai Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry’s 2023 nationwide survey highlight these trends.
Ignoring or downplaying bullying harms everyone. As one family’s reflection gathered by The Times shows, delaying action can cost a child lasting friendships and social development. Psychologists warn that unaddressed aggression deprives children of empathy, social skills, and resilience—traits essential for healthy adulthood.
In Thailand, schools are experimenting with restorative approaches to discipline. The Ministry of Education piloted programs inspired by Scandinavian models that involve parents, peer mediation, and follow-up counseling in Bangkok schools, showing promising early results. Yet many institutions still rely primarily on punishment rather than rehabilitation.
Cultural context remains powerful. Saving face, respect for elders, and conformity can hinder frank discussions about a child’s aggression. However, silence risks perpetuating cycles of harm. Social media adds complexity, as private messaging and anonymous platforms make monitoring adolescent interactions tougher, even when parental controls are in place.
Looking ahead, several steps stand out for Thai schools and families:
- Make anti-bullying training for teachers comprehensive, including digital literacy and trauma-informed care.
- Foster open dialogue among parents, schools, and students about all roles in bullying.
- Expand in-school counseling and psychological support for everyone involved.
- Integrate empathy, conflict resolution, and social-emotional learning into the Thai national curriculum from early primary years.
- Create structured group activities that promote inclusion, leadership, and respect.
Practical actions for families and educators include regular, nonjudgmental conversations about school life and friendships. When concerns arise, collaborate with schools, counselors, and community organizations instead of defending the child. Seek guidance from local anti-bullying programs and UNICEF Thailand for evidence-based strategies.
Watch for signs of distress, aggression, or social exclusion at home or online. Frame issues as teachable moments—bullying is a behavior, not a label. Repair harm, rebuild relationships, and support social-emotional development to prevent recurrence.
Honest national conversations about school violence must acknowledge that any child can act harmfully at times. Breaking the stigma around parenting a bully is essential to creating safer, healthier environments for all Thai children now and in the future.
For further guidance, families can access resources from respected international and Thai organizations focused on child welfare and prevention. Early intervention and proactive communication remain the keys to breaking the cycle for children—whether they are bullied, bystanders, or sometimes the aggressors themselves.