New research and expert insights are shedding light on what people really do—and don’t do—when they’re authentically in love, offering lessons that could resonate strongly with Thai readers navigating modern relationships. A recent report from YourTango, based on interviews with relationship expert Julia Flood of New Start Therapy in San Francisco and recent behavioral science findings, reveals that love is much more than grand gestures or romantic declarations; it is grounded in everyday actions that can both surprise and challenge those experiencing it for the first time (YourTango).
Love, a universal and timeless topic, holds a special place in Thai culture. From epic folk tales and luk thung songs lamenting heartbreak, to the modern influence of K-dramas and online dating, Thais are constantly renegotiating what love means in a contemporary, urbanized world. Understanding these new scientific perspectives can help Thais reflect on their own experiences and expectations in romance.
One of the most compelling findings is that, when truly in love, individuals actively try to become better versions of themselves. According to the cited expert, “When we’re in love, we tend to put our best foot forward, and our thinking about our partner’s differences range somewhere between ‘I don’t mind’ to ‘maybe that will change.’” This aligns with well-known psychological research into the “Michelangelo effect”—the phenomenon where partners in healthy relationships help sculpt each other’s best qualities (APA PsycNet). In Thai society, where self-improvement is often tied to merit-making and social harmony, this insight could remind couples that supporting each other’s growth is a key part of genuine love.
Another fascinating aspect is the almost euphoric “high” people experience at the beginning of a romance. Scientific studies suggest this is primarily due to a cocktail of brain chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin, which create feelings of excitement and reward (Harvard Gazette). The initial euphoria makes all your partner’s quirks appear endearing and minimises differences—a chemical reality echoed in the Thai saying, “kwam rak tam hai ta bor hen khwam khai” (love makes us blind to flaws). These findings caution against mistaking this temporary emotional peak for long-term compatibility, reminding Thais to ground their relationships in reality as the months go on.
But being in love does not mean being completely authentic from day one. Many people instinctively present their best selves and downplay any potential irritants early on. Expert opinions stress that this is not deceitful, but rather a natural part of human bonding. In a Thai context, where “rak dee” (good love) sometimes means not openly addressing every disagreement to maintain face and harmony, this finding echoes long-standing cultural patterns. However, the risk, as explained by the expert, is that problems can surface later, leading to what psychologists call the “disillusionment phase.” At this stage, differences inevitably reappear, and couples must decide whether to address or avoid them.
Fear is also highlighted as a surprising indicator of true attachment. It may seem counterintuitive to feel anxious when love is supposed to bring happiness, but research shows that feeling deeply for a partner makes one more sensitive to the possibility of loss. According to the cited expert, “The more we love and long for something, the more we fear losing it.” For many Thais, this vulnerability is both a source of emotional depth and anxiety, potentially explaining why some shy away from open displays of affection or commitment.
True love, the report emphasizes, also involves the courage to open up entirely—sharing one’s flaws as well as strengths. “You can only truly appreciate your partner for who they are when you have seen all sides of them,” notes the expert. In Thai society, where “jai dee” (a good heart) and honesty are highly prized, this suggests that enduring relationships require vulnerability, not just the ability to save face.
Perhaps most significantly, the research finds that people who are really in love tend not to give up easily, even during tough times. Perseverance—whether that means seeking couples’ therapy or weathering difficult periods—can be a sign of authentic commitment. Studies referenced in the article show that strong emotional bonds can make it hard to walk away, and overcoming challenges together leads to deeper connections. This idea fits well with Buddhist values often invoked in Thai relationships: enduring through suffering (tuk) can make eventual happiness (suk) all the sweeter.
Thailand’s rapid social change, from rural traditions to urban modernity, has deeply shaped how love is experienced and expressed. In the past, relationships were often dictated by family or community expectations. Today, personal fulfillment and self-expression are increasingly prioritized—yet, as the new research indicates, the core actions of love remain unchanged. Whether celebrated in the Wai Khru teacher tribute ceremony’s respectful gestures (paralleling putting your best foot forward), or in the perseverance shown by partners sticking together through family hardship, many of the six signs highlighted by the latest research are visible in Thai life.
Looking ahead, as relationship patterns shift globally—through social media, international travel, and transnational families—understanding the science of love could help Thais distinguish genuine connection from fleeting infatuation. Psychologists warn that the “honeymoon phase” driven by dopamine eventually gives way to the realities of commitment and compromise (Verywell Mind). Recognizing disillusionment as both normal and surmountable may help couples develop healthier, more resilient relationships, reducing the stigma around seeking help or expressing vulnerability.
For Thai readers seeking practical advice, the key takeaway is to approach love as a dynamic process, not a static state. Focus on continuous self-improvement, value authenticity over appearance, and embrace both joy and vulnerability as part of the journey. Don’t hesitate to seek support—whether from community leaders, monks, or therapists—if challenges arise. And perhaps most importantly, remember that perseverance and openness, not just chemistry, distinguish lasting love from fleeting romance.
For those curious about the research, further reading on the psychological and neurochemical dynamics of love can be found in works published by the Harvard Gazette on the brain’s reward systems, and scholarly articles accessible via PubMed. These resources offer insights that are as relevant in Bangkok as they are in San Francisco or Seoul.
Ultimately, the science and habits of real love are not just the stuff of novels or movies—they are built on everyday actions, honest conversations, and the courage to persist when things get hard. As Thai culture adapts to global trends, mixing traditional wisdom with evidence-based guidance, couples can equip themselves to build connections that truly endure.