A growing body of research suggests the simple act of worrying about what others think—now dubbed “FOPO” or Fear of People’s Opinions—is far more widespread than many believe, impacting individuals’ decision-making, behaviour, and well-being. FOPO, a term coined by psychologist Michael Gervais, is gaining global attention as experts, including therapists and mental health professionals, unpack how this subtle mindset is holding many back from living authentically—especially in collectivist societies such as Thailand, where community approval carries deep historical weight. The phenomenon, while present worldwide, takes on unique relevance in Thai society, which is traditionally anchored in the values of “face,” social harmony, and close-knit communities (HuffPost).
FOPO refers to the constant, often draining vigilance people experience as they scan their environment for cues of approval or rejection. According to clinical research and mental health practitioners, this behaviour is rooted in humanity’s evolutionary need for acceptance—being cast out from the tribe once meant a high risk of survival. However, in today’s world, societal rejection rarely spells danger, yet our brains still react as if every perceived judgment is a matter of life or death. Gervais, who authored “The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying About What People Think of You,” notes that FOPO is “characterized mostly by a hypervigilance and social readiness—we scan our world for approval.” This vigilance manifests in small, daily habits: worrying about whether our text sounded curt, studying a friend’s reaction for disapproval, or feeling anxious about ordering coffee in front of strangers.
Mental health experts highlight that FOPO is not just a fleeting feeling. Certified therapists explain that FOPO often develops in environments where “What will people think?” is regularly reinforced, a trait particularly pronounced in families emphasizing collective reputation or honour. With the rise of social media, the landscape of FOPO has expanded; “likes,” comments, and online interactions now make external validation more pervasive and quantifiable. “It’s not so much about what’s best for you anymore. It feels like what’s maybe best for how others will perceive you,” says a US-based therapist, echoing challenges many Thai youth now face in the age of Instagram and TikTok.
Recent research divided FOPO into three phases: anticipation, checking, and responding. The first phase, anticipation, occurs before entering a social situation—a rush of anxiety or mental rehearsal about potential judgments. Next, during interactions, individuals move into the checking phase, where attention is diverted away from genuine communication and instead focused on monitoring others’ reactions. “We become preoccupied with scanning for micro-expressions, tone of voice, and body language…More focused on our own survival than actually listening,” Gervais reports. This exhaustive process explains why mental fatigue and social anxiety are increasingly common in bustling cities such as Bangkok, where public impressions can feel inescapable.
The final phase, responding, sees individuals shape-shifting or conforming to fit in. In Thailand, this may appear as going along with the group consensus despite private disagreement, laughing at jokes out of politeness, or refraining from sharing creative ideas in the workplace for fear of disapproval. FOPO, ultimately, leads people to betray their own desires in favour of what they think others want.
Expert perspectives urge that it is neither realistic nor healthy to ignore others’ opinions entirely. As noted by therapists, “We live in relationships, we live in communities…What’s important is recognizing how much you let someone’s opinion impact you.” Becoming aware of FOPO—even simply naming it—helps individuals begin to regain agency. Typical FOPO-driven behaviours include checking one’s phone to seek distraction, staying late at work if the boss remains in the office, or pretending familiarity with social topics—all to avoid looking “out of place.”
In Thailand, the implications of FOPO are magnified by cultural values of “rak na,” the desire to maintain a good face, and “nam jai,” showing consideration for others. Thai educational institutions, workplaces, and families often reinforce social cohesion and respect for hierarchy, making the risk of social disapproval particularly salient. For youth, pressure to conform is heightened by parental expectations and a highly visible digital culture, where social reputation is easily scrutinized by peers, relatives, and even strangers.
Historically, Thai society has prized harmony and non-confrontation, as reflected in the proverb “น้ำพึ่งเรือ เสือพึ่งป่า” (“Humans need each other like water needs boats, tigers need forests”). But in the digital era, when personal differences are publicly displayed and rapidly judged online, FOPO is surfacing as a barrier to creativity, innovation, and, importantly, mental health. According to the Thai Department of Mental Health, anxiety disorders and burnout are rising among teenagers and working adults, driven in part by fear of not meeting social expectations (source: Thai Department of Mental Health).
So, can Thais—especially the younger generation—learn to resist the grip of FOPO? Both international and local experts emphasize the importance of self-awareness. “Just being aware that there’s a name for this habit starts to discharge the power of their opinions,” says Gervais. Practical therapy-backed exercises include reflecting on missed opportunities: thinking back a decade and asking, “If I hadn’t cared what people thought, what might have been different?” This helps individuals pinpoint the hidden costs of inauthentic living—a message resonating with those who spent their youth worrying about appearance or success, only to realize later how little those judgments matter in the long run.
To counter FOPO, some propose a shift from performance-based identity, where self-worth is tied to achievement and approval, to a purpose-based identity, where values guide choices. In the Thai context, this might mean encouraging schools and families to nurture self-expression alongside respect for tradition. Consulting with mental health professionals can help clarify personal values and untangle them from ingrained social expectations.
Thai readers can also benefit from small, actionable steps: practicing mindful self-talk during anxious moments, setting boundaries around social media use, and building confidence by engaging in activities aligned with one’s interests, not simply for external validation. As one therapist suggests, “The more authentic you are, the easier it is to show up in a competent way…You’re less likely to care what others think because you feel secure with yourself.”
Moving forward, FOPO is likely to remain a challenge for a society as relationally oriented as Thailand’s, especially as digital platforms amplify both peer approval and criticism. But increased mental health awareness, educational reforms prioritizing creativity and critical thinking, and a growing national dialogue about well-being promise gradual progress. Acknowledging FOPO and its roots is the first step. “Awareness is always the starting point for change,” says Gervais.
For Thai individuals, families, and institutions wishing to address FOPO, the call to action is simple yet profound: reflect on where your daily decisions are guided more by others’ imagined opinions than by your authentic values. Seek professional guidance when FOPO is overwhelming, and practice celebrating small acts of authenticity—whether that’s sharing a new idea in a meeting, expressing a dissenting opinion respectfully, or posting a photo online that captures who you are, not who others expect you to be. Society changes as individuals do: courage, authenticity, and awareness—values deeply revered in Thai Buddhism—can help reclaim inner peace from the court of public opinion.
For more information on self-esteem, FOPO, and local support services, visit the Ministry of Public Health Thailand or international resources such as Mental Health America. For anyone struggling with anxiety or fear of judgment, expert-recommended exercises are best practiced with the support of a qualified mental health professional.
Sources: HuffPost, Thai Department of Mental Health, Ministry of Public Health Thailand