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When College-Aged Kids Stay Away: Parents Grapple with Summer Separation

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As Thai university students increasingly pursue summer jobs or internships far from home, many parents are left coping with a complex blend of pride, sadness, and self-doubt—a phenomenon on the rise worldwide and now affecting countless families in Thailand. Recent advice columns and psychological research highlight a growing trend: instead of returning home for the holidays, many young adults choose to remain in their college towns, seeking independence and real-world experience, but leaving parents behind to face a sometimes painful sense of emptiness and loss (MLive).

This dilemma was recently brought into focus in an advice column by R. Eric Thomas, where a parent expressed both pride in their college-aged child’s burgeoning independence and an aching sadness over their absence. Instead of returning home for a traditional family summer, the student opted to stay 300 miles away, working and living in their college town. The parent, echoing feelings familiar to many, voiced a subtle worry: if home was truly cherished, would their child still prefer to stay away all summer?

For Thai readers, this topic strikes a particularly resonant chord. Thailand, with its strong familial bonds and cultural emphasis on togetherness, is seeing shifts as more students study in distant provinces or overseas. As economic demands and academic competition increase, students are motivated to use their summers for self-development—through internships, part-time jobs, or academic enrichment—often far from their parents’ embrace.

Experts explain that such parental feelings are part of a well-documented psychological response known as “empty nest syndrome” (Wikipedia). Characterized by grief, loneliness, and even a loss of purpose when children leave home, this adjustment period can be especially intense for parents who previously dedicated much of their daily life to caring for their children. While not a clinical illness, empty nest syndrome can contribute to low mood and anxiety, particularly during long stretches like the summer holiday.

In interviews and studies, parents describe a mixture of emotions: pride in their child’s independence, satisfaction in seeing them apply life skills, but also an uncomfortable sense of being left behind. “When students stay at their universities over summer, parents may wonder if it’s a sign that family is less important,” said a counselor from a leading Bangkok university. “But often, it’s a natural step as students grow up—they feel secure enough to explore the world, knowing family is their safe base.”

Research published in June 2025 in Psychology Today emphasizes the importance of structuring summer in a way that benefits both students and their families (Psychology Today). The article urges parents to see summer as a time for students to balance rest, work, and growth, rather than simply as a homecoming. According to the approach recommended by therapist Rob Danzman, the most thriving students enter the new academic year having used summer not just for relaxation, but for developing habits such as good sleep, nutrition, exercise, social connection, and cognitive stimulation. For parents, the focus should shift from control to curiosity—asking open, supportive questions about summer goals, and encouraging routines without dictating decisions.

For many in Thailand, the continued absence of children can mean empty chairs at the family table, missed trips to hometown temples, or the quiet of a house once filled with youthful noise. Yet, experts stress this is evidence of a job well done: when children strike out confidently on their own, it signals a foundation of stability and love at home. “Sometimes young adults assume home will always be there, so they feel free to put all their energy into new experiences,” explained a Chiang Mai-based family psychologist. “This can hurt, but it’s proof you’ve made home a safe, enduring place.”

Traditionally, Thai families mark the summer with shared activities—family travels, festivals, and religious observances. With students’ absences, parents may need to seek new routines or rekindle old hobbies to fill the void. Sociologist observations suggest that many parents are finding solidarity in community groups, or by visiting their children in their college towns to temporarily reclaim the joys of togetherness. Reflecting on such visits, some parents say these trips bring fresh perspective and a chance to appreciate their child’s new world, while renewing important family bonds—even if only for a few days.

Looking ahead, the trend is unlikely to reverse. Thailand is increasingly interconnected with global patterns: universities and employers alike value real-world experience, and students are under pressure to stand out. As a result, more summer jobs will draw students away from home temporarily. Educational experts foresee an evolution in how families mark the summer, possibly with “mid-year reunions” or short, intentional get-togethers to maintain emotional closeness despite geographic separation.

What can Thai parents do to cope positively with summer separation? Experts offer several practical tips:

  • Reframe the absence as a marker of success, rather than rejection. Your support and love have given your child the wings to fly independently.
  • Stay connected with regular, low-pressure communication—video calls, care packages, or sharing family news.
  • Consider planning a brief visit to your child’s university town, seeing their world firsthand.
  • Rediscover personal interests or community involvement to fill newly available time.
  • If feelings of loss linger, consider joining support groups or consulting with a family counselor, especially as empty nest syndrome is a widespread and natural response.
  • Encourage your child to pursue healthy routines—adequate sleep, nutritious food, exercise, and social connections—reminding them that self-care strengthens their academic and personal resilience.

The emotional journey of letting go, Thai-style, is both familiar and new. By embracing evolving traditions, maintaining open lines of communication, and viewing growing independence as a testament to their parenting, Thai families can thrive through the rhythms of togetherness and apartness. And, as the wisdom of Buddhist teaching reminds us, both the joys and sorrows of family life are part of life’s ever-changing impermanence—a lesson as old as time, and as fresh as each summer breeze.

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Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals before making decisions about your health.