A new wave of research and social commentary is shedding light on how traditional gestures of politeness, once widely accepted among baby boomers, are increasingly being interpreted as passive-aggressive by younger generations. As Thailand navigates historic shifts in workplace culture, family dynamics, and digital communication, understanding these nuanced generational differences has become essential for harmonious intergenerational interaction and mental well-being.
In a recent article published by VegOut Magazine, social observer and former corporate insider examines seven common habits that, while intended to be respectful, often come across as controlling or judgmental to millennials and Gen Z. These findings echo similar trends emerging from global workplace studies and Thai family life, where rapid modernization and exposure to diverse cultural values have provoked a broader discussion about the role of etiquette, authority, and emotional intelligence across age groups (VegOut Magazine).
The generational divide is perhaps most clearly revealed in phrases such as “Well, I was raised to…”—a comment often deployed by older Thais to articulate family or cultural values. While such statements are usually meant to express personal upbringing or set social expectations, many younger people now interpret them as indirect criticism or evidence of a rigid mindset. The subtle suggestion that others were not “raised right” can alienate those who emphasize inclusivity and open-mindedness over doctrinaire respect for traditions.
Similar friction arises from the unsolicited advice frequently given by boomers. Thai elders, like their Western counterparts, may offer suggestions about career choices, health routines, or relationship conduct as a sign of care and wisdom. However, millennials and Gen Z, raised amid a flood of information and self-help resources, may perceive such advice as undermining their sense of autonomy. Clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Smith notes, “When we jump in with solutions, we sometimes silence the other person’s ability to process or even ask for what they really need.” The dynamic is familiar in many Thai households, where respect for elders still shapes expectations, but where younger family members increasingly seek space to find their own solutions (Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?).
Formal greetings and rituals also remain points of contention. While many Thai boomers continue favoring titles, honorifics, and handwritten thank-you notes to show respect, younger Thais often view these as unnecessary or stilted in more relaxed social settings. The expectation of strict formality may feel like an emotional barrier to younger people, prioritizing hierarchy over authentic connection—especially in Thailand’s fast-evolving urban environments, where global youth culture strongly influences local norms.
One of the more delicate generational flashpoints centers on backhanded compliments, such as “You look so much better when you smile” or “That outfit is so brave.” While well-intentioned, these comments can often carry an undercurrent of judgment or comparison. For Thai youth, who are frequently exposed to new discussions on inclusive beauty standards and body positivity, such remarks can feel tone-deaf or subtly shaming. Mental health experts warn that these “compliments with strings attached” may contribute to body image issues and wider social anxiety among younger Thais, who are actively seeking to unlearn damaging stereotypes perpetuated by previous generations.
Differences in communication preferences also contribute to generational tension. Many boomers see phone calls as personal and immediate, but younger people—accustomed to text-based messaging—can experience unplanned calls as disruptive. The expectation of instant availability, particularly when accompanied by follow-up messages that imply urgency, is often read as intrusive or neglectful of personal boundaries. This tension manifests across Thai workplaces, where traditional managers may still prioritize face-to-face or direct voice interactions, sometimes clashing with the schedules and work-life balance priorities of their younger colleagues.
Perhaps most emotionally charged are well-meaning comments about appearance and the use of guilt as a motivator. While boomers may comment on weight loss or fatigue as signs of concern, many Thai millennials and Gen Zers now view such remarks as intrusive or even harmful, given the growing awareness of mental health and respect for boundaries. Similarly, efforts to provoke behavior through guilt—phrases like “After all I’ve done for you…” or “We drove all this way to see you”—can be read by younger generations as subtle emotional manipulation rather than genuine requests for support. Family therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of “Set Boundaries, Find Peace,” explains that guilt trips “are a covert way to control someone’s behavior by making them feel bad instead of making a direct request” (Set Boundaries, Find Peace).
The Thai context provides unique insights into these shifting dynamics. Respect for elders remains deeply embedded in Thai culture, still reinforced by customs such as the wai and the use of honorifics. However, as Thailand becomes more urbanized, connected, and globally influenced, younger people are increasingly exposed to egalitarian values, direct communication styles, and advocacy for mental health. Thai educators and cultural analysts report that these generational tensions are visible in schools, workplaces, and families, often leading to misunderstandings that, if unresolved, can erode trust and increase stress (Bangkok Post).
Historically, past transitions—such as the adoption of new technologies, educational reforms, or changes in family structure—have triggered similar generational negotiations over what constitutes proper etiquette. In the 1980s and 1990s, for example, Thai parents grappled with their children’s embrace of Western pop culture and dress. Today’s debates over digital manners and autonomy are part of a longer pattern in which each generation both challenges and redefines social norms.
Looking to the future, these differences are likely to moderate rather than disappear. Experts suggest that intergenerational empathy and curiosity are critical for building mutual respect. For Thailand’s institutions—schools, companies, and families—prioritizing open dialogue and mental health literacy will be key. Potential policies could include providing cross-generational communication workshops, mental health first-aid training, and platforms for youth and elders to jointly discuss expectations.
For everyday Thai readers, the most practical step may be to reconsider “politeness” not just as the outward observance of tradition, but as an active effort to understand how one’s intentions are received. Asking “Is this landing the way I think it is?”—or, better yet, inquiring directly about preferences—can prevent misunderstandings and foster stronger connections. Practicing direct, respectful communication and giving each other space to make requests without guilt can help bridge the current generational divide.
As etiquette continues to evolve, Thailand stands at a crossroads between honoring traditions and adapting to emerging global norms. By embracing open conversation and learning from ongoing research, Thai society can turn its generational diversity into a source of strength, finding new ways to demonstrate care and respect—across the ages.
Sources: VegOut Magazine, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?, Set Boundaries, Find Peace, Bangkok Post