A growing body of psychological research is helping decode the subtle yet significant behaviors that indicate deep-seated insecurity—often lurking beneath a surface of confidence or apparent indifference. According to a recent evidence-backed report, eight telltale signs can signal when someone is grappling with insecurity without even realizing it—a finding that holds implications not only for personal wellbeing but also for Thai workplaces, schools, and families.
Insecurity, as described by psychologists, refers to a persistent sense of inadequacy that unconsciously guides thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. In Thailand, where the value of “face” and social harmony often shape daily interactions, these hidden patterns may take on distinctive forms and consequences. Many individuals believe they are merely being themselves, but their repeated ways of reacting to feedback, comparison, relationships, or praise can reflect a deeper struggle for self-worth.
The first sign uncovered by researchers is chronic self-promotion, or its subtler cousin—humble-bragging. This may be observed in colleagues, friends, or classmates who incessantly remind others of their achievements, seeking external confirmation of what they internally doubt. Psychologists refer to this as “defensive self-esteem,” a concept supported by research from Kernis and colleagues, showing that those who mask their insecurity with outward grandiosity are particularly reactive to criticism and less able to handle ego threats gracefully (Kernis, 2003). In the Thai context, where humility is a social virtue, humble-bragging can often be dismissed as modesty; yet research suggests it remains an attempt to compensate for internal uncertainty.
Another behavior illuminates insecurity—an inability to accept constructive feedback. While secure individuals welcome feedback as an opportunity for growth, insecure people interpret even gentle suggestions as personal attacks. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on fixed versus growth mindsets sheds light here: those who view intelligence and ability as fixed are more likely to see criticism as an existential threat, rather than a chance to improve (Dweck, 2006). In the Thai workplace, this might manifest as defensive responses, justifications, or even withdrawal when performance is questioned.
This difficulty intertwines with a third sign: compulsive comparison. Social comparison is universal, as first described by Festinger’s social comparison theory (Festinger, 1954), but insecure individuals engage in it more frequently and to greater emotional extremes. They may obsessively track the test scores of classmates, social media likes, salaries of friends, or even how their family is perceived relative to others. In Thai society, where hierarchical status and collective reputation shape individual identity, this can be particularly acute and may drive both anxiety and unhealthy competition among peers.
Self-sabotage—deliberately underperforming before important opportunities—is another marker psychologists identify as “self-handicapping.” This defense mechanism allows a person to blame failure on external circumstances rather than risk evidence of their own inadequacy (Jones & Berglas, 1978). Examples found in Thai educational settings include students “forgetting” to turn in assignments or arriving late to critical exams, behaviors that on the surface appear careless but are in fact strategies to shield self-worth.
Over-apologizing is also seen as a warning flag, especially when apologies are issued for trivial mistakes or even routine actions. This reflects a deep-seated fear of being disliked or of violating group norms—highly relevant in Thailand’s collectivist culture. Research suggests this behavior is closely linked with people-pleasing, itself a well-documented response to anticipated rejection (Leary et al., 2007). Frequent apologizers often lack the confidence to distinguish between genuine mistakes and mere imperfections.
As relationships form the backbone of Thai society, the sixth sign—clinginess or the need for constant reassurance—is particularly salient. Adults with high “attachment anxiety,” a well-established psychological concept (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007), may bombard partners or friends with messages seeking affirmation, yet simultaneously test them for signs of abandonment. Ironically, such efforts can erode the very security they crave, sometimes resulting in a cycle of jealousy or possessiveness that can damage close bonds.
This connects closely to the seventh sign: the persistent deflection of compliments. Rather than accepting praise at face value, insecure individuals downplay their achievements or attribute success to luck. The classic “impostor phenomenon,” frequently documented among high-achieving students and professionals in Thailand and abroad, reflects this self-deprecating tendency (Clance & Imes, 1978). When someone insists, “I just got lucky,” rather than thanking a colleague for praise, it often signals discomfort with positive evaluation.
Finally, the eighth sign is the tendency to either over-control or relinquish all control in various situations. Insecure workers might micromanage their projects or rigidly dictate social plans out of fear that any deviation will expose inadequacy. Others may defer excessively, letting others decide everything to avoid potential criticism. The root of both extremes, experts agree, is anxiety over competency and self-worth. Achieving flexibility—knowing when to lead and when to follow—is an indicator of inner security (Deci & Ryan, 2000).
When these behaviors appear in colleagues, friends, or ourselves, experts recommend a number of evidence-based strategies. Instead of generic flattery, offer specific, believable feedback—such as complimenting the clarity of a report rather than broad statements of praise. Modeling vulnerability and sharing personal setbacks can also help destigmatize imperfection, inviting others to accept their own. Encouraging a growth-oriented mindset—reframing “I can’t” as “I’m learning”—improves psychological resilience. For those caught in a reassurance loop, setting compassionate yet firm boundaries is key, for instance by responding to requests for confirmation with respectful but limited feedback, as seen in therapeutic advice across cultures (Neff, 2011).
The social implications in Thailand are layered. The stigma surrounding vulnerability can make it difficult for people to acknowledge insecurity, especially when it’s masked as diligence, modesty, or agreeableness. The concept of “kreng jai” (เกรงใจ), the cultural value of avoiding burdening others, may suppress open discussion of emotional struggles, thereby fueling the persistence of hidden insecurity. However, Thai schools and offices are increasingly adopting Western models of feedback, growth mindsets, and self-compassion—offering new tools for building emotional resilience.
Historically, Thai society leaned heavily on collective achievement and harmony, with individual success celebrated only if balanced with humility. This remains apparent in popular culture, where public displays of self-promotion are often frowned upon, leading many to disguise insecurity as politeness or self-effacement. The rise of social media, with its mechanisms for instant comparison and validation, has both amplified these pressures and made the signs of insecurity more visible. In educational settings, students may silently struggle with impostor feelings, especially as Thailand’s universities and international schools increasingly emphasize competitive metrics and global rankings.
Looking forward, the integration of psychological health into public discourse is gaining momentum in Thailand. National campaigns now encourage self-reflection, mental health screenings, and counseling for youth and adults alike (Thai Department of Mental Health). “Wellbeing” programs at Thai universities and corporations underline the importance of emotional security for productivity, creativity, and social cohesion. Yet barriers remain, with experts noting the need for culturally sensitive approaches that respect local values while reducing stigma.
For Thai readers, the practical takeaway is twofold. First, consider the subtle forms that insecurity may take in your own life and relationships—be it over-apologizing, avoiding feedback, or the urge to control outcomes. Recognizing these patterns is the critical first step toward change. Second, when offering support to others, focus on specific encouragement, model self-acceptance, and nudge friends and colleagues toward a mindset of growth and learning rather than perfection or comparison.
For parents, teachers, and managers, fostering environments that normalize imperfection and encourage open discussion can reduce the grip of insecurity. For individuals, seeking out mindful practices, counseling, or peer support groups offered by local hospitals and NGOs—many of which now operate online—can build resilience.
In the end, as psychologists emphasize, the objective is not to eliminate doubt altogether. Doubt is a natural human experience, and, in moderation, it can motivate growth. The goal is to cultivate a foundation of confidence robust enough to face challenges without being derailed by fear of inadequacy. The latest research offers a promising roadmap for moving beyond performance-driven approval toward lasting self-worth.
Key academic sources and further reading on these findings include:
- “Defensive Self-Esteem and Ego Threats” by Kernis et al. (2003)
- “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol Dweck (2006)
- “Social Comparison Theory” by Leon Festinger (1954)
- “Self-Handicapping: The Paradox That Isn’t” by Jones & Berglas (1978)
- “Self-Presentation, Motivation, and Goal” by Leary et al. (2007)
- “Attachment in Adulthood” by Mikulincer & Shaver (2007)
- “The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women” by Clance & Imes (1978)
- “Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation” by Deci & Ryan (2000)
- Self-Compassion research by Kristin Neff (2011)
- Thai Department of Mental Health initiatives