A new wave of millennial fathers is pushing to share parenting duties equally with their partners, but workplace culture and longstanding gender norms continue to place significant barriers in their way, according to recent research and widespread expert commentary. This growing tension between the desire to be present fathers and the realities of contemporary work life raises essential questions for families, companies, and policymakers not only in Western countries but also in societies like Thailand, where gender roles and work cultures are rapidly evolving.
Behind the headline is the push by millennial dads—typically those born between the early 1980s and mid-1990s—to show up more at home. Recent findings, such as those from Pew Research, reveal that in 2016, fathers of children under 18 in the United States, where much of the research focuses but has global resonance, reported spending triple the amount of time on childcare compared to fathers in 1965. Experts indicate this trend has been intensifying throughout the last decade. Meanwhile, more than 85% of contemporary dads report that parenting is among the most important parts of their identity. Crucially, this generational shift is taking place within a “pressure cooker” of workplace expectations that have yet to fully adapt to modern visions of co-parenting, and experts warn that the slow pace of change is frustrating progress.
For Thai readers, the implications are significant: Thailand, like many modernizing societies, is at a crossroads between traditional family models and global trends towards gender equality in both the workplace and at home. While specific Thai data is less readily available, urban families in Bangkok and other major cities are beginning to echo international patterns, with many fathers expressing the desire to take on greater caretaking roles. Yet, as in the US and UK, workplace realities in Thailand—from long hours to inflexible schedules—often stymie these intentions, mirroring the so-called “double shift” that has long been discussed in the context of working mothers.
The often-unspoken stigma against fathers asserting their caregiving identities is a major theme in the research. Many millennial dads, particularly those working in competitive sectors like tech or consulting, recount being careful to conceal their parenting responsibilities from colleagues and superiors, fearing judgment or even professional penalties. As highlighted by a London-based academic, the traditional perception of fathers as principally breadwinners remains entrenched, even as family structures change: “A few decades ago, fathers were basically there for breadwinning and disciplining… that’s absolutely not the case anymore.”
Despite good intentions, the gap between ideals and realities remains stubbornly wide. According to the Institute for Family Studies, in 2021 and 2022, college-educated fathers of children under 18 spent over two hours more per week with their children than a decade prior. Yet, in practice, societal defaults—such as the expectation for mothers to take longer parental leave—quickly establish one parent as the “primary,” perpetuating gendered divisions. The Boston College Center for Work and Family describes this as the “paradox of today’s fathers”: men want to be involved at home, but also feel strong pressure to advance their careers, resulting in an often-unsustainable tug-of-war with limited solutions.
Experts like a sociology professor from the University of Wisconsin Madison point to deep-rooted socialization patterns and structures. “We’ve told young girls they can be anything they want to be. But we’re not encouraging boys to embrace care identities,” she notes. In Thailand, parallel critiques have been made by gender studies experts and NGO advocates, who warn that boys are still rarely presented with caregiving as a core life skill or identity, even as girls are increasingly encouraged to pursue professional success.
Structural constraints are compounded by policy gaps. In the US, the absence of universal childcare and the persistence of significant gender pay gaps mean women still shoulder much of the care burden—patterns similarly seen in Thailand. According to the Department of Labour Protection and Welfare, Thai labor law does provide for leave and some flexibility, but in practice, these policies are unevenly implemented and rarely normalized for men. Cultural stigmas against men working flexibly or taking full advantage of paternity leave run strong, with anecdotal evidence suggesting that men who request such accommodations are sometimes viewed as less committed to their jobs.
This is exacerbated by what workplace experts call “greedy work”—a term used to describe jobs or industries that demand long or unpredictable hours and reward those who prioritize work above all else. Harvard economist Claudia Goldin, whose Nobel-winning work examines labor market gender inequalities, notes that these structures are particularly resistant to change and have been slow to accommodate involved parenting, especially for men. In Thailand’s corporate and professional sectors, a similar dynamic is visible, particularly among those in private or multinational firms where presenteeism and long-hours culture remain the norm.
Social scientists note that shifting workplace norms requires not just supportive policies, but also meaningful cultural change. A leading academic from King’s Business School in London argues that “what’s critical is that you can’t allow the gender division to get solidified” in the early years of parenthood—a caution that resonates in the Thai context, where maternity leave and care work continue to be strongly associated with mothers. Without intentional action, the patterns of the past risk being perpetuated, making it harder for families to reach genuine equality at home.
Interestingly, both Western and Thai experts agree that change is possible if a so-called “critical mass” is reached. This would require both men and women to challenge stereotypes, companies to normalize and encourage paternal leave and flexible work, and policymakers to promote shared parental responsibilities. In Sweden, for example, the “use it or lose it” paid paternity leave policy has dramatically increased the number of men taking extended leave and contributed to more equal domestic arrangements—a potential model for Thai policymakers to study.
Workplace pressures, however, can have personal costs. Many fathers report feelings of inadequacy, isolation, or guilt when they fail to live up to their own ideals or societal expectations. This has consequences not just for family happiness, but potentially for mental health—an issue Thai public health professionals increasingly recognize as tied to both work and family stress. Men may be less likely than women to seek mental health support, further compounding the challenge.
Internationally, high-profile business leaders have sometimes contributed to backlash against “soft” or “caring” masculinity in the workplace, instead championing “hardcore” work cultures that implicitly penalize those who value family time. Such attitudes reinforce the status quo, making it harder for millennial dads to publicly embrace their roles as caregivers. There are signs of a similar dynamic in fast-growing Thai industries, with perceptions of “seriousness” and “leadership” still linked to traditional displays of masculinity.
Notably, potential role models—like managers who take visible parental leave or vocally support work-life balance—could help accelerate change. A US-based gender studies expert suggests that “norms can shift quite quickly once you get a critical mass,” echoing observations from Thai advocates who credit prominent public figures with helping to make hands-on fatherhood more aspirational. Modeling these new forms of masculinity is not only positive for men, they say, but also helps women, children, and society overall by easing burdens, expanding opportunities, and improving child outcomes.
For Thailand, the historical and cultural context is crucial. While Buddhist teachings and Thai social traditions have long placed the mother at the center of the family, there is also space for reinterpretation: The values of metta (loving-kindness) and collective responsibility could be reimagined to support a less gendered division of family labor. As urbanization, international exposure, and generational change reshape Thai families, clear communication, supportive policies, and community role models become even more important.
Looking ahead, the future of fatherhood—in the US, the UK, and Thailand—will depend on how quickly workplaces, policies, and cultural scripts can adapt to new realities. Experts see glimmers of hope in changing generational attitudes, more progressive companies, and grassroots advocacy. Yet, without intentional action, the risk is that millennial dads will find, much as many mothers have for generations, that “having it all” remains out of reach.
For Thai readers who are parents, managers, or policymakers, the call to action is clear: Encourage open conversations about caregiving, challenge stereotypes about gender and work, and advocate for leave policies that are fair and accessible for all. For businesses, fostering a culture where men are empowered—not penalized—for being active fathers is not just about equality: It’s about attracting and retaining talented workers in a changing world.
To learn more, readers can see expert research and perspectives from sources such as Pew Research Center (pewresearch.org), the Institute for Family Studies (ifstudies.org), and Harvard economist Claudia Goldin’s Nobel-recognised work (nobelprize.org). For Thai context, the Ministry of Labour (labour.go.th) and UN Women Thailand (asiapacific.unwomen.org) provide additional resources.