A rapidly growing body of research and real-world accounts reveal a significant shift in family dynamics worldwide, as more grandparents are stepping into the role of primary caregivers for young children—sometimes from the moment they’re born. This trend, which was recently thrown into sharp relief by a viral family advice story about parents “taking a break” from active childrearing since their baby’s birth, underscores the complex realities and pressures facing modern families today (Slate).
The narrative at the center of this debate saw new parents leaving much of the day-to-day care of their infant daughter to the child’s grandmother, who initially arrived for a short period but ended up as the primary caregiver for months on end. The grandmother’s increasing exhaustion—and even hospitalisation for back pain—has prompted family members to question boundaries, responsibility, and the sustainability of such arrangements.
This phenomenon isn’t isolated to a single family or culture. Internationally, research shows a rising reliance on grandparents, especially amid economic challenge, soaring childcare costs, and changing parental work patterns (Pew Research; PRB.org). In the United States alone, more than 2.7 million grandparents now serve as the primary caregivers to their grandchildren, a dramatic increase triggered by economic crises, changing family structures, and pandemic-driven disruptions.
For Thai families, the situation resonates deeply with longstanding cultural practices—yet it’s taking on new dimensions in the 21st century. In Thailand, extended family support has historically been a pillar of childcare, especially in rural areas where working-age adults migrate to cities for employment, leaving children in the care of grandparents (Wikipedia - Grandparent childcare). However, urbanisation, demographic shifts, and the pressures of modern work are increasing both the scale of this arrangement and the burdens placed upon older caregivers.
Globally, experts warn that the emerging trend is both a blessing and a source of strain. According to a 2025 cross-country study, “non-primary caregivers such as grandparents… play a vital role in early child development” but often do so with insufficient community recognition or structural support (PMC). In China, nearly 4% of all children are now raised by a grandparent as the main parent, and similar figures are found in other countries with strong family traditions (PRB).
Contemporary parents, especially millennials and Gen Z, are facing what some experts call “the expectations gap”—a disconnect between the cultural ideal of joyful, hands-on parenting and the daily reality of workplace demands and financial pressures (FamilyEducation). Parental burnout, though not always dramatic, can manifest as chronic exhaustion, emotional depletion, or even withdrawal from active childrearing (Medium; HHS.gov). When such fatigue becomes unsustainable, families often turn to grandparental support as a safety valve.
This convergence of family, culture, and economics is now central to policy discussions in Thailand and beyond. Some countries are exploring formal supports for caregiving grandparents, such as stipends or social benefits, to recognise their crucial contribution (Yahoo). In Sweden, for instance, new options allow grandparents to be paid for childcare—while debates in the United States and elsewhere often leave grandparents uncompensated and under strain.
The risk, as highlighted by several studies, is burnout—not just for working parents but for elderly caregivers who may already face declining health. Trends in rural China and parts of Southeast Asia show that when grandparents become the main caregivers, children’s nutritional and health outcomes can be unpredictable; while the emotional support of family is invaluable, older adults are sometimes less equipped to keep up with changing health guidelines or manage the physical demands of babies and toddlers (PubMed, An Analysis of urban-rural differences in grandparenting in China, 2024).
Thai experts from public health and family studies point to similarities in the Kingdom, especially in Northeastern and Northern regions where grandparent-led households are a common sight. According to a senior researcher at a leading Bangkok university, “While multi-generational living supports both the well-being of children and the social engagement of elders, it also risks overburdening grandparents—particularly grandmothers—when the demands exceed their capacity. Over time, this can negatively affect both child development and the health of the elderly.” A director of a major Thai child welfare foundation notes that “grandparent caregivers are often idealised in Thai culture, but there needs to be greater awareness of their real needs and limits, particularly as the country faces a rapidly aging population.”
Both Thai and global commentators emphasise that the increased reliance on grandparents is not purely negative. When well-supported, this arrangement can strengthen family bonds, alleviate financial stress, and provide children with continuity of care steeped in cultural values (MSN). In households where trust and clear communication exist, grandparents may take joy and pride in their expanded role, crediting it as a chance to give back and stay vital. But without adequate support structures, what starts as a family solution can quickly become a crisis.
These patterns are tightly interwoven with shifting global approaches to work-life balance, childcare outsourcing, and intergenerational support. The COVID-19 pandemic, now well into its fifth year of societal impact, accelerated these shifts: in-person childcare centers shuttered at record rates, employers introduced or rescinded flexible work options, and labour shortages pushed parents to improvise care solutions—frequently relying on family.
Thailand’s situation is complicated by its unique demographics. The country is rapidly aging, with a median age now over 40 and one of the world’s lowest birth rates (UN population data). This means smaller family sizes, greater demand for eldercare, and increasing difficulty for both young and old to provide for dependents. Public health officials warn that current support for grandparent caregivers is inadequate, particularly in urban settings where traditions clash with modern constraints.
Financial concerns are also top of mind. Recent news coverage points out that, for millennial parents, the presence of local grandparents can be decisive for achieving economic stability—sometimes even allowing young families to build savings or create a sustainable work-life balance (Business Insider). Yet, where grandparents are unavailable, the costs of formal daycare, nannies, or loss of work hours can threaten household finances. Inequalities in access to grandparental help are thus compounding broader divides in wealth and opportunity.
Meanwhile, the boundaries and expectations around family responsibility are being continually renegotiated. As seen in the viral Slate story, adult siblings often have conflicting feelings: gratitude for parental help, concern for elderly parents’ well-being, and sometimes, underlying resentments or jealousy about who receives care and attention. Psychologists caution that such emotional tensions are common and underscore the need for open, honest family communication.
Looking forward, experts advocate for practical solutions tailored to local realities. For Thailand, this means not only public awareness and family dialogue but also policy changes: expanding community health services, offering respite care for elderly caregivers, and reconsidering welfare supports for multi-generational households. As the director of a family welfare NGO puts it, “The old Thai proverb goes, ‘Children are the wealth of the family’—but to harvest this wealth, we must also care for those who tend the garden.”
For Thai readers, the key takeaway is both cultural and practical. While supporting each other across generations remains a national strength, all family members—young and old—need to consider their own health, boundaries, and well-being. If you see an elderly parent struggling with the demands of primary caregiving, open a respectful conversation. Offer to share the load, however small your contribution may seem; this could mean dropping by with a meal, offering a few hours of weekend childcare, or simply encouraging honest communication about needs and limits. And for those feeling guilt or complex emotions about family roles, remember: as experts suggest, self-reflection can reveal hidden motives and help strengthen family bonds in the long run (Medium; HHS.gov).
To move forward, Thailand—and societies worldwide—should foster a culture that values caregiving at all ages, supports the physical and mental health of all caregivers, and embraces modern solutions alongside cherished traditions. For families navigating similar dilemmas, the practical advice is clear: listen, communicate, and share the work, so neither children nor elders shoulder the burden alone.