A growing number of parents and experts worldwide are highlighting that some “normal” parenting rules—long considered standard—may in fact cause lasting emotional damage to children, according to the latest digital debate and emerging scientific research. Recent discussions, sparked by a widely shared BuzzFeed article in July 2025, show how social media communities and mental health professionals increasingly question rules like constant teasing, forced affection, tough love, the suppression of children’s emotions, and respect for hierarchy regardless of mutual respect. Thai families, renowned for their warmth but also shaped by traditional hierarchies, may find these revelations particularly meaningful as the nation grapples with global trends in parenting and mental health.
The BuzzFeed article aggregates dozens of personal stories from an online forum, revealing a consensus that some familiar rules—including “silent treatment,” “not showing emotions,” “empty threats,” and shaming children online—can undermine children’s emotional well-being and development. Several professional opinions echo the concern; for instance, a licensed therapist interviewed for the piece describes the “lifelong impact of a parent who was not empathic in all those little moments.” These observations are now supported by a growing body of empirical research, including a 2024 review in Frontiers in Psychology, which details how the earliest relationships between parents and children lay the groundwork for the lifelong ability to regulate emotions, trust others, and thrive socially and academically (Frontiers in Psychology, 2024).
This is not a trivial finding for Thailand, where respect for elders, emotional restraint, and notions of “tough love” pervade mainstream attitudes. Such values are intimately woven into family life, expressed in proverbs such as “ไม้เรียวในมือแม่” (“a mother’s cane”)—embodying the idea that discipline, often strict and mechanical, is essential for a child’s growth. At the same time, modern research and urban Thai parents point increasingly to the need for warmth, validation, and emotional openness, reflecting a global paradigm shift.
Decades of psychological and neuroscientific research now clarify that children’s social success, emotional regulation, and moral reasoning are shaped by subtle daily interactions with caregivers. Frontiers in Psychology’s June 2024 issue reports that the “blueprint” for emotion regulation, resilience, and prosocial values is formed through “attuned responses” to a child’s emotions—long before school age. The research highlights how mindful, present, and responsive parenting, rather than harsh behavioral control or emotional withdrawal, lays the neurological and psychological foundations for lifelong well-being. Negative experiences—such as shaming, ongoing ridicule, unexplained punishment, or lack of privacy—can embed patterns of emotional dysregulation and mental distress that persist into adulthood (Frontiers in Psychology, 2024).
A related 2024 meta-analysis in Children finds that overprotectiveness, low parental warmth, and invalidating responses to emotions not only increase the risk of anxiety and depressive disorders in teens but also contribute to externalizing problems such as aggression or defiance (Children, 2024). These effects are mediated by the child’s ability or inability to regulate emotion—a skill itself formed in response to parental messages and day-to-day emotional climate.
In a parallel line of research, a 2024 neuroscience study published in PMC reveals that “supportive emotion socialization behaviors and a positive family emotional climate” correlate with stronger activation of key brain regions involved in emotion regulation among early adolescent girls with high internalizing symptoms (PMC, 2024). The finding is vital as it emphasizes that both emotional warmth and practical demonstration of emotion-regulation strategies by parents increase children’s resilience against depression and anxiety at a neurobiological level. Conversely, harshness, neglect, or punitive “emotional perfectionism” corrode this foundation.
But why do these common practices persist? According to cultural psychologist Yulia Chentsova Dutton of Georgetown University, quoted in Slate (2024), the mainstreaming of “emotion regulation” in popular parenting advice masks the cultural complexity of parenting. Many societies, including Thailand’s, elevate emotional suppression as a form of maturity, even as mounting global research links it to poor psychological outcomes. In the words of Stanford’s James Gross, also cited in Slate, “emotions, even the unpleasant ones, are helpful to us … but it is in the instances when they have the power to make us act foolishly, or when we’re experiencing the wrong kind of emotion, that we must examine the resources we have at hand to alter the way we feel” (Slate, 2024).
Such cultural nuance is echoed by many in Thailand. Familial affection is often expressed through sacrifice or duty rather than direct praise or emotional exchange. Elders may believe that “children must endure hardship to succeed,” while younger generations increasingly seek acknowledgment and open conversations about feelings. Amid this transition, Thailand faces a surge in adolescent mental health concerns and rising rates of suicide and self-harm—trends the Ministry of Public Health and UNICEF have flagged for urgent attention.
International surveys also reveal that about 40% of children lack a secure emotional attachment to their parents—a factor strongly predictive of behavioral issues, academic difficulties, and lifelong malaise (Evidence-Based Mentoring, 2023). According to Susan Campbell, a professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh, “when helpless infants learn early that their cries will be responded to, they also learn that their needs will be met, and they are likely to form a secure attachment to their parents … when caregivers are overwhelmed or unresponsive, infants are more likely to learn that the world is not a safe place—leading them to become needy, frustrated, withdrawn, or disorganized.”
Thai parents navigating this evidence face challenging questions. What, for instance, is the line between guidance and control? How do you balance respect for elders with respect for a child’s emotional integrity? How can parents practice mindful engagement despite work pressures, changing economic realities, and the omnipresence of digital distractions?
Experts recommend that parents—and society at large—reconsider certain established customs. The rules most widely flagged as emotionally damaging in both Western and Asian contexts include:
- Constant teasing, ridicule, or belittling, which can foster shame and emotional numbness.
- Silent treatment and emotional withdrawal, which create insecurity and difficulty linking behavior with consequences.
- Dismissing or punishing the expression of negative feelings such as sadness, anger, or frustration.
- Comparing the child unfavorably to siblings or peers, eroding self-worth and identity.
- “Tough love” devoid of empathy, leading to internalized anxiety and emotional isolation.
- Forced affection or violation of body autonomy, which undermines a child’s ability to set healthy personal boundaries.
- Lack of privacy and over-monitoring, which inhibits psychological independence and trust.
- Public shaming and sharing of children’s embarrassing moments online, generating lasting stigmatization and digital footprints that haunt into adulthood.
- Authority-based obedience (“because I said so”), which discourages curiosity, critical thinking, and healthy dissent.
- Telling boys to never cry or demanding that children be “seen but not heard,” curbing both emotional intelligence and healthy identity formation.
Significantly, research supports the idea that warmth, attunement, supportive boundary setting, and the open acknowledgment of both positive and negative emotions foster resilience and prosocial values not only in the West but across cultural boundaries. Mindful parenting, focusing on present-moment awareness and nonjudgmental responsiveness, has been shown to significantly reduce both parental and child stress levels, supporting healthier attachment and emotional regulation (Frontiers in Psychology, 2024). Mindfulness-based parenting programs, now offered in pilot projects in advanced Thai hospitals and community centers, are showing promise.
At the same time, studies caution against “emotional perfectionism”—the belief that every emotion must be perfectly managed or hidden. Chentsova Dutton notes that emotional granularity, or the ability to accurately name and differentiate emotions, is more beneficial than suppressing them in the name of politeness or discipline. This underscores the importance of developing a rich, expressive emotional vocabulary in Thai families traditionally averse to direct confrontation or negative feeling.
Historical research, including that cited in the Wikipedia entry on Parenting and Emotional Health, reveals that parenting styles are not static but evolve within society. In Thailand, recent generations are integrating global best practices with enduring values of mutual obligation and respect—often yielding a hybrid style favoring open communication within limits. The Ministry of Education’s Life Skills curriculum, for instance, now explicitly addresses emotional self-regulation, empathy, and self-care as fundamental, not optional, learning goals.
Looking forward, the convergence of online conversations, parental self-reflection, and empirical psychological research suggests a future in which Thai families will be increasingly empowered to challenge outdated or emotionally harmful parenting norms. As mental health awareness grows and digital platforms provide unprecedented access to knowledge and peer support, more parents can access practical strategies for mindful, emotionally attuned caregiving.
For Thai parents and caregivers, there are clear recommendations arising from the research:
- Reflect regularly on the emotional messages communicated—verbally and nonverbally—to children.
- Practice non-judgmental listening, allowing children to express emotions openly without fear of ridicule or reprisal.
- Avoid using affection as a reward or punishment. Consistent love and support should be unconditional.
- Replace public shaming with private, respectful discussions about misbehavior and consequences.
- Encourage curiosity, critical thinking, and respectful dissent, even within the bounds of traditional respect for elders.
- Seek professional support or community resources—such as Mindfulness-Based Parenting workshops—when struggling with stress, frustration, or emotional exhaustion.
- Use positive reinforcement more often than negative discipline, particularly in the face of mistakes or setbacks.
- Model emotional regulation by honestly identifying and talking about your own feelings, including vulnerability and frustration, in age-appropriate ways.
- Cultivate “emotion coaching” practices recommended in many pediatric psychology guidelines, which include naming, validating, and helping children navigate strong feelings.
For local policymakers and educators, the implication is clear: initiatives to improve public mental health and educational outcomes must integrate family-centered, culturally sensitive interventions. This includes supporting parents through education, outreach programs, and the removal of stigma from help-seeking.
Finally, it is vital to remember that Thailand’s rich cultural traditions can be harnessed—not abandoned—in pursuit of these goals. The concept of “namjai” (น้ำใจ, generosity of heart) can be reframed as emotional generosity, and the Buddhist emphasis on mindfulness and compassion aligns closely with the best of modern parenting science. By combining tradition with innovation, Thai families can nurture resilience, empathy, and flourishing in the next generation.
For readers seeking more information or practical help, resources are available through the Ministry of Public Health, the Department of Mental Health, regional child development centers, and a growing number of online parent communities. Professional advice is also available from Thai hospitals with pediatric mental health clinics and university-based counseling services.
Sources: BuzzFeed, Frontiers in Psychology, Children Journal, PMC, Slate, Evidence-Based Mentoring, Wikipedia: Parenting and emotional health, Ministry of Public Health, Thailand, UNICEF Thailand.