As the long Thai school holidays approach, a wave of questions arises about the way parents handle everyday misbehavior in young children. A recent discussion ignited by the article “Why shouldn’t we call children ‘naughty’?” from The Spectator challenges the conventional wisdom of using labels like “naughty” to describe children’s bad behavior. The apparent simplicity of the term belies its potential to shape a child’s developing sense of self and influence the way children respond to authority, discipline, and emotional challenges—not just in Western societies but also within Thai families adjusting to modern parenting philosophies.
Calling a young child “naughty” might seem like a harmless shorthand for correcting misbehavior, but leading child development experts warn the term can lead to unintended consequences. Most notably, when a child is repeatedly labeled as “naughty,” the risk is not just that they feel scolded in the moment—it’s that the label can take root in their self-identity. As British child counselor and broadcaster Kate Silverton told the Netmums podcast, “Children can internalize the label and think, ‘I’m bad. I’m naughty.’ And then it becomes: ‘That’s me. That’s who I am.’ That’s where sort of delinquency comes from.” This signals a growing awareness that language matters deeply in shaping a child’s self-concept and long-term behavior (The Spectator).
These concerns echo through recent psychological research. According to studies highlighted by The Conversation, when children are repeatedly labeled—whether as “bad,” “lazy,” or “smart”—it shapes not only how adults interact with them, but how children learn to view themselves: “If a child is repeatedly called ‘bad,’ they will perceive themselves as such and behave accordingly.” (The Conversation) This phenomenon is known as the “labeling effect,” where children, particularly in the critical years of early childhood, internalize adjectives and respond with behavior that fits the identity imposed upon them. The mechanism behind this has been described in child psychology for decades: labels can restrict children’s sense of agency and limit their willingness to explore different ways of behaving (Nir and Far; University of Nevada, Reno).
But what can Thai parents, educators, and caregivers do differently? And do these parenting debates, so prominent in Western media, reflect parenting norms in Thailand?
The Thai family context is unique, blending enduring values of hierarchy, respect, and filial piety with rapid social change. Global parenting philosophies like “gentle parenting”—which emphasizes validating children’s emotions and avoids punitive or reward-based discipline—are gaining traction in urban Thai families, especially among younger, well-educated parents. Gentle parenting is rooted in principles of respect, empathy, and emotional connection. Rather than dismissing children’s big emotions as “naughty” outbursts, gentle parenting encourages adults to see beneath the behavior, acknowledging the child’s underlying feelings and guiding them towards self-regulation (Wikipedia: Gentle Parenting).
A cross-cultural review published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology examines how Asian cultural values, including those in Thailand, influence parenting style and child development. While a high value is placed on obedience and respect, there is increasing emphasis—particularly among urban and middle-class families—on warmth, open communication, and nurturing the child’s confidence (Frontiers in Psychology). An adaptation of gentle parenting within the Thai context means balancing firmness with understanding, and ensuring children are respected yet guided firmly.
Yet the shift away from labels like “naughty” is not universal or uncontested. Many Thai caregivers come from backgrounds steeped in traditional ideas of discipline—where authority is to be maintained, and misbehavior met with strong, clear boundaries. A study in the Journal of Primary Prevention shows many Thai parents still report frequent use of negatively loaded language and punitive discipline in response to challenging behavior. Still, research out of Mahidol University and international collaborations highlight clear benefits for positive child outcomes when parents adopt approaches that combine clear limits with emotional support (Parenting Within the Public Health System in Thailand).
Historically, Thai children have been described as particularly polite and behaviorally restrained, especially in classroom and community settings (Harvard University: Teacher Reports on Thai Children). But behind the veneer of politeness, Thai children, like their global peers, grapple with the emotional turbulence of early childhood. Of particular concern, a 2024 study found that 44.3% of Thai preschool children displayed significant behavioral issues, a rate higher than in previous years (Wiley Online Library). This suggests that while outward deference is maintained, children may struggle internally, particularly when labels like “naughty” suppress opportunities to discuss and resolve emotions constructively.
Individual Thai parents, especially those balancing work stresses and busy family life, may be skeptical of new disciplinary approaches. For instance, the “SAS” tool (See/Sense, Acknowledge, Soothe), recommended by Kate Silverton on the Netmums podcast, asks parents to mirror children’s emotions in a non-mocking way—“You are so cross right now…”—to connect before redirecting behavior. Many adults, both in Thailand and abroad, find this technique awkward or counterintuitive, feeling instead that reinforcing boundaries is more effective. Indeed, the tension between maintaining parental authority and encouraging children’s emotional intelligence is familiar in Thai households.
However, promising results come from trials within the Thai public health system. One randomized trial cited by globalparenting.org saw a 58% reduction in child maltreatment and a 40% reduction in parent mental health problems when parents were trained in non-labeling, empathetic communication and positive discipline (Parenting Within the Public Health System in Thailand). Likewise, the majority (81%) of Thai children aged 24–59 months were found to be developmentally on track in another recent study, but the researchers emphasized the profound role of caregiver sensitivity over punitive discipline (PMC).
Direct quotes from research add further weight. As one leading developmental psychologist wrote, “Labels can greatly influence how children view themselves. Just because children demonstrate a pattern of behavior at one time does not mean they should be defined by it” (University of Nevada, Reno – PDF). This point is echoed by Thai child psychologists, who warn that associating a child’s whole identity with a singular behavior can erode self-esteem and lead to repeated negative behaviors—especially if the “naughty” label is voiced in front of others, potentially causing shame.
Still, cultural context must be considered. Within Thai society, the ideal of “kreng jai”—deference, politeness, and not causing others (especially elders) inconvenience—remains strong. While this may curb open rebellion, it risks encouraging emotional suppression. The growing mental health movement among young Thais, visible through school programs and social media, reflects a new willingness to discuss feelings and resist unhelpful labels—“naughty,” “stubborn,” or otherwise.
Looking ahead, experts predict an ongoing shift as younger generations of Thai parents adopt global best practices tailored for local realities. As digital platforms bring parenting discussions to smartphones across Thailand, new methods—like positive discipline, emotion coaching, and collaborative problem-solving—are likely to permeate middle-class and urban communities first, with schools and social workers playing key roles in dissemination. There is a palpable momentum for change, as Thais recognize that resilience, good behavior, and respect can thrive when built upon emotional understanding rather than fear of condemnation.
For Thai parents and educators interested in trying new approaches, experts recommend the following actionable steps:
- Describe the behavior, not the child. Instead of “You are naughty,” try “Throwing toys can hurt people. Let’s use them nicely.”
- Validate feelings without excusing bad actions. For example, “I see you are upset, but we cannot hit our friends.”
- Teach consequences and solutions. Ask, “What can we do next time when we feel angry?”
- Pay attention to your own emotional state. Children often mirror adult reactions.
- Seek support from local parenting groups, schools, or trained counselors now available in many Thai communities, especially in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and major provinces (Parenting Within the Public Health System in Thailand).
- Practice self-compassion: no parent is perfect, and change is gradual.
In summary, growing research and global debate—now touching Thailand—suggest that the simple word “naughty” carries more weight than it seems. While tradition and practicality still favor clear boundaries, Thai parents have the opportunity to blend firmness with empathy, creating a generation ready to face challenges with confidence rather than shame.
For readers who wish to learn more about the research and explore new approaches, consult international resources via The Conversation, Nir and Far, and the University of Nevada, Reno Extension; or explore Thai-focused guidance at Mahidol University and Thailand’s network of developmental psychologists and parenting NGOs.