Bed-sharing between parents and young children, a practice often frowned upon in the West, continues to be the standard in many Asian societies, with cultural values, family structures, and practical constraints shaping distinct sleep customs across the region. Recent international reporting and research suggest that, while Western parents debate the pros and cons of children sleeping in their parents’ beds, Asian families view the question not as “whether” but “when” children should move out of the family bed, reflecting sharply contrasting expectations about parenting and child development.
For Thai families and broader Asian societies, this latest attention focuses on a practice so normalized that it is rarely questioned. According to one multicultural survey in 2010, over 60% of families in China, Japan, and South Korea, and upwards of 70% in India and parts of Southeast Asia, regularly bed-shared with infants and toddlers, compared to just 5-15% in Western countries like the United States, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand (NYTimes). Even within the United States, although professional bodies like the American Academy of Pediatrics warn that bed-sharing can increase risks—particularly of sudden infant death syndrome for infants under six months—the rates appear to be rising modestly, likely underreported due to stigma.
The prevailing rationale for bed-sharing in Asia is a combination of cultural, emotional, and practical factors. Many parents emphasize the importance of a close parent-child bond, sentiments echoed by a South Korean office manager who described wanting to “enjoy the moment” with her two young daughters before they become more independent. In densely populated cities such as Seoul, Hong Kong, and Bangkok, limited living space and scarcity of extra bedrooms make bed-sharing both a necessity and a convenience. Breastfeeding support specialists in Hong Kong note that the “space problem is the big factor,” a perspective familiar to many Thai families living in urban condominiums.
But practicalities alone do not explain the staying power of this tradition. In societies where family solidarity and intergenerational ties are valued, bed-sharing is seen as fostering emotional security and social harmony—qualities deeply embedded in Thai Buddhist ideals of family responsibility and togetherness. As a South Korean entrepreneur put it, described in the New York Times story, “It’s so common that no one thinks, ‘Is it uncommon?’” This sentiment mirrors the expectations across much of Thailand, where extended family sleeping arrangements remain prevalent, especially in rural provinces and during major cultural events like Songkran, when relatives tend to gather in shared accommodations.
The contrast with Western norms is stark and partly historical. The Western insistence on solitary sleep for infants stems from Victorian-era health campaigns and the rise of “sleep training” culture, in which infants are taught to sleep independently in a separate room. In the U.S., the push for sleep separation is driven by safety guidelines—such as those from the American Academy of Pediatrics—but also by contemporary ideals around individual autonomy and parental privacy. Professor Helen Ball, director of Durham University’s infancy and sleep center in the UK and author of “How Babies Sleep,” notes, however, that bed-sharing may actually be more widespread in the West than statistics suggest, owing to parents’ reluctance to disclose the practice due to fear of social or medical disapproval (NYTimes).
For Asian families—including many in Thailand—bed-sharing is rarely seen through a safety-prevention lens, but rather as a way of expressing love, supervision, and familial closeness. Cultural advisers and pediatricians in Thailand often highlight Buddhism’s influence on parenting: compassion, interdependence, and protective vigilance underpin both daily childcare and the widespread acceptance of multi-generational sleeping arrangements. “We believe the family is a single unit, not just individuals,” notes a Bangkok-based child development expert (Bangkok Post interviews, May 2024). This collective approach can be seen in the way Thai families cope with crisis—such as during natural disasters or economic hardship, when living and sleeping spaces shrink to accommodate everyone.
Still, the practice is not without debate or downsides. Experts, including psychologists at Scripps College in California, warn that extended bed-sharing may impact parental sleep quality and marital relationships, with competing strains between intimacy and family obligations. These problems are familiar to Thai families, as described by one mother in Seoul who reported sacrificing her own sleep so her husband and children could maintain their nighttime closeness. “It’s not just about my preference—it’s about what’s expected for us as parents,” she explained. Peer pressure may nudge parents away from their own needs to conform to social expectations, whether toward or against bed-sharing.
In some Asian contexts, including Singapore, a growing emphasis on Western-style sleep training and apartment privacy is changing the conversation. Parents there now sometimes feel ashamed to admit to bed-sharing, reflecting a tension between tradition and modernity that is apparent in Bangkok and Chiang Mai’s wealthier neighborhoods, where imported parenting books and lifestyle influences are increasingly common. Yet, according to local breastfeeding group leaders, most Singaporean (and Thai) children continue bed-sharing or room-sharing long into primary school, suggesting that deeply rooted customs evolve only slowly.
Interestingly, the persistence of bed-sharing among Asian urbanites—even among the elite familiar with Western parenting trends—suggests that nativist values often override imported advice. In cities like Bangkok, as in Delhi or Seoul, affluent parents may be more exposed to global sleep literature but continue bed-sharing, sometimes calling local sleep specialists for advice tailored to their needs. “We want to bed-share, but it’s hard to find someone who understands our culture,” one Indian parent reportedly told a New Delhi sleep expert, a sentiment likely echoed among Bangkok’s expatriate community.
Thailand-specific implications are multifaceted. On one level, bed-sharing supports the country’s continued emphasis on intergenerational bonds, which are visible in the prevalence of grandparents as primary caregivers and the role of extended families in daily life. During special occasions such as Visakha Bucha Day or the annual ordination season, entire families often sleep together in temple complexes or ancestral homes, reinforcing the normality of communal sleep. On another level, growing urbanization and the shrinking of living spaces make bed-sharing as much a practical matter as a cultural one—Bangkok’s smaller apartments and condominiums, for example, often lack extra rooms, much as in Hong Kong or Tokyo.
At the same time, there are grassroots movements in Thailand to promote evidence-based practices in infant care and safe sleep environments. Thai pediatricians, especially in large city hospitals, increasingly draw on international research to recommend room-sharing—keeping infants in the same room but not the same bed—to balance the safety benefits with the emotional advantages of proximity (Royal College of Pediatricians of Thailand). Yet, “cosleeping” in various forms remains the overwhelming norm in both rural and urban areas, supported by frequently cited Buddhist teachings on compassion and familial interdependence.
Historical patterns support this continuity. In traditional Thai society, family compounds were organized so that sleeping arrangements could flexibly accommodate children, elders, and guests—often within a single, open-plan wooden house. The Western arrival of partitioned bedrooms is a relatively recent trend, and many families still retain sleeping mats and futon-style options for group sleeping. Cultural festivals, school excursions, and even business trips often involve communal overnight stays, reinforcing the view that shared sleep is unremarkable.
Looking ahead, experts believe that Asia’s—and Thailand’s—bed-sharing traditions are likely to persist, though influenced by new waves of urbanization, changing gender roles, and global advice. The influence of social media and international parenting forums may gradually introduce alternative perspectives, but real change is likely to be slow. Meanwhile, research repeatedly underscores the fluidity of family sleep arrangements: parents adapt based on children’s developmental stages, family needs, and shifting cultural attitudes.
For Thai parents, pediatricians, and policymakers, the key is to balance tradition and safety. International guidance generally recommends that infants under six months sleep on a separate, firm surface within arm’s reach of their parents—even when families share a room—to reduce risks associated with sudden infant death syndrome (CDC). For older children, bed-sharing poses far fewer physical risks, provided safe sleep guidelines are observed and the arrangement suits all family members.
In practical terms, Thai families may wish to:
- Prioritize infant safety by avoiding soft bedding, pillows, and overheating
- Consider separate sleeping surfaces for the youngest infants while maintaining room proximity
- Communicate openly within the family about sleep needs and preferences, adapting arrangements as children grow
- Seek advice from Thai pediatric specialists or support groups if they have questions about sleep health and family well-being
Ultimately, the enduring popularity of bed-sharing in Thailand and Asia represents not just tradition but adaptive parenting—fitting familial and practical needs in response to unique social, economic, and cultural circumstances. As debates about sleep practices continue worldwide, Thai families can take pride in their flexible, compassionate approach, rooted in centuries of cultural wisdom yet open to evolving advice.
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