Many Thais have pondered the question: “Am I just too sensitive?” after a seemingly minor remark leaves a lasting hurt. Recent psychological research reveals that heightened emotional sensitivity is both more common and complex than previously thought, with roots in biology, life experiences, and cultural dynamics—and it is not simply a matter of “overreacting” or lacking toughness, as Thai conventional wisdom sometimes suggests.
Highly sensitive individuals tend to dwell on minor social slights—a friend’s offhand joke, a family member’s sharp comment, or being overlooked in a conversation—well beyond what others might consider reasonable. According to a leading US-based professor emeritus in psychology and neuroscience, these moments sting deeply because they signal diminished relational value: “It conveys that I don’t have a whole lot of relational value to you,” this expert explained in a recent interview. “You don’t value your connection with me, because if you did, you’d treat me better than this.” Some people, according to this researcher, simply feel these upsets more keenly than others, lacking the ability to emotionally brush them off easily.
This heightened sensitivity has even been described as possessing “more emotional information-tracking sensors,” by a clinical social worker and director at a US-based dialectical behavior therapy center. “The more ‘sensors’ you have, the more data you’re getting, meaning you feel the world more deeply, more intensely.” While some may benefit from a rich emotional life, for others, it can leave them overpowered by even small upsets. Without learned coping strategies, minor hurts may accumulate, causing significant emotional distress over time.
The article highlights that being emotionally attuned is not always negative. Yet, constant emotional wounds can erode self-esteem and disrupt relationships, especially when others cannot understand or anticipate these sensitivities. A critical question emerges: why are some people more sensitive than others, and what can they do to manage these strong reactions?
Science now points to a blend of genetic and environmental factors, from childhood temperament to lived experiences. Some individuals, research finds, are simply “born with bigger feelings,” or are temperamentally highly sensitive. These people are not only emotionally reactive, but often more attuned to environmental stimuli—loud noises, strong odors, or shifting temperatures. A psychologist who pioneered the study of highly sensitive people has even developed an online self-assessment so individuals can gauge their place on the spectrum of sensitivity (see: Elaine Aron’s HSP Scale). Notably, many highly sensitive Thais may have been told to “grow thicker skin” or accused of “overreacting,” echoing a common generational refrain in Thai families, schools, and workplaces.
But life experience—especially early childhood rejection or trauma—also shapes our emotional antennae. A professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, explains that children who have been hurt are primed for “rejection sensitivity,” meaning they expect and anxiously anticipate being wounded again. Such individuals may interpret even ambiguous jokes or neutral comments as signs of rejection, fueling persistent anxiety and hypervigilance in social situations. For Thai readers, this is echoed in classroom and familial environments, where indirect communication and “kreng jai” (deference to others’ feelings) are cultural norms, yet can also make it harder to address or contextualize emotional wounds.
Challenging outdated gender stereotypes, recent research also finds that men are just as likely as women to be highly sensitive, even if women are more likely to self-report emotional intensity. A twin study found no statistically significant difference in sensitivity across genders. This finding contradicts prevailing Thai and global stereotypes that encourage men to suppress emotions and label women as “too emotional.” Instead, researchers argue that these beliefs stem from social expectations, not biology.
At the root of many hurt feelings, according to experts, is a profound need to matter and be accepted. The stronger one’s desire for another’s approval, the more sensitive they may become to cues of possible rejection. “The more you yearn for acceptance from another person, the more you’re going to have your antennas up for any sign other people may not care,” notes the professor emeritus. In Thailand’s collectivist social fabric, where maintaining face and social harmony is prized, this insight is especially salient.
How one believes they are valued directly influences sensitivity to perceived slights. Those who feel securely connected—whether to family, friends, or colleagues—can better withstand gentle teasing or minor insults. But if relationships feel tenuous, comments are more likely to reinforce deep-seated insecurities, leading to hurt and, sometimes, social withdrawal.
So, what can sensitive individuals do to find balance—and how can friends, families, and workplaces in Thailand respond supportively? Experts stress that while emotional and rejection sensitivity can be self-perpetuating (“If your feelings are constantly hurt, people might stop socializing with you, thus reinforcing your fears!”), this cycle can be managed and even disrupted.
Current research, including studies underway by the University of California, Berkeley, is probing whether self-awareness about one’s sensitivity is enough to break this cycle, or if additional skills are needed. The expert suggests that realizing your own tendency to “jump to the worst conclusion”—such as assuming a friend’s silence equates to hostility—can help sensitive people begin to reinterpret social cues more accurately.
Practical recommendations from the experts include pausing to assess whether a supposed insult is significant in the long run; weighing whether the behavior is an isolated incident or a pattern; and approaching the other party with calm, “I-statements” to voice feelings (for example: “I’ve noticed you snapped at me recently—is something going on?”). If the other person is dismissive, especially if they are not in your close circle, it may be best to simply move on; for closer relationships, it is appropriate—and important—to explain how such dismissals are invalidating.
While it can feel overwhelming, experts say that learning skills to regulate emotions and communicate openly can restore self-confidence and deepen connections. “It’s just a way to try to make sure that you’re not over-blowing it [out of proportion] before you think about how you should respond,” explains the professor emeritus.
In a Thai context, where saving face and indirect communication are standard, these Western strategies may require sensitive adaptation—perhaps involving mediators such as respected elders or community leaders. Schools and workplaces in Thailand could benefit from mental health education programs that help young people and adults alike recognize, respect, and skillfully manage both their own sensitivities and those of others.
Looking to the future, ongoing research into the biology, psychology, and cultural dynamics of emotional sensitivity promises to yield new strategies for managing these tendencies. As mental health awareness slowly gains ground in Thailand, understanding that emotional sensitivity is not a flaw but part of diverse human nature could lead to greater compassion and healthier relationships in Thai society.
For Thais who identify as highly sensitive, the research suggests practical steps: become aware of your triggers, clarify which relationships truly matter, develop skills for emotional regulation (such as mindfulness or cognitive reframing), and, when appropriate, seek professional support. Equally, friends, families, and employers are encouraged to validate sensitive individuals’ experience, challenge outdated stereotypes about “toughness,” and create emotionally safe spaces across Thai society.
In sum, you’re likely not “too sensitive”—you are simply wired to feel deeply, and with self-awareness and support, that trait can become a strength rather than a burden.
For further information, see the original Vox article: vox.com, and research on highly sensitive people by Dr. Elaine Aron (hsperson.com).