A new study published in Sexuality & Culture has uncovered the reasons why many young adults choose to remain in “situationships”—romantic partnerships that exist in a grey area between casual dating and official commitment. Despite evidence that situationships are often less satisfying than traditional relationships, researchers from the United States found that emotional investment, the hope for a more official bond, and having emotional needs met often keep people attached to these ambiguous romances. The findings are especially relevant as Thai youth and young adults navigate complex dating norms shaped by social media, dating apps, and shifting societal expectations.
Situationships—a term that only entered mainstream vocabulary in 2017—describe relationships in which couples spend time together, share emotional intimacy, and sometimes engage in sexual activity, but without clear labels or defined future plans. For many, these arrangements can be a source of anxiety and uncertainty. However, as this new study demonstrates, there are meaningful psychological reasons why people may still prefer to “stay in the grey” instead of seeking clarity or a formal commitment.
Conducted by a research team led by an assistant professor of human sciences at Baylor University, the study explored the lived experiences of individuals aged 18 to 30 who were currently in or had recently left a situationship. Interviews revealed seven main factors influencing their decisions to remain in such relationships: a sense of exclusivity (even when not discussed), emotional investment, having emotional needs fulfilled, communication (or avoidance) about the future, perceived partner effort, feeling prioritized, and trust. “Many people form situationships as a potential gateway to a traditional relationship, sort of like relationship purgatory—a place where people wait to see if they are ready and want to transition to an official relationship,” the lead researcher told PsyPost (PsyPost).
To deepen their insights, the team surveyed 89 US college students who collectively shared 109 situationship experiences. The results revealed that the more individuals felt invested, hopeful about their romantic future, and valued by their partner, the more satisfied and committed they felt—even in the absence of concrete definitions. Notably, the satisfaction was strongly connected to emotional needs being met, such as feeling understood and cared for.
Not all aspects proved equal. For example, the sense that a partner was making an effort was less strongly linked to overall relationship satisfaction than emotional support and future-oriented conversations—even if those conversations were somewhat vague. This nuance hints at the deeper importance of feeling emotionally acknowledged over superficial gestures. The study also applied established psychological frameworks, including social exchange theory—which posits that individuals stay in relationships when benefits outweigh costs—and the investment model. The latter suggests people are influenced not only by satisfaction but also by how much time, emotion, and energy they’ve invested, and whether they perceive any better alternatives.
This resonates with many urban young Thais, who are now balancing traditional expectations—such as the value placed on long-term, committed relationships—with a modern reality filled with choices and ambiguity. In a culture that still holds traditional milestones like marriage or engagement in high regard, situationships offer both a temporary refuge for those who want connection without full commitment, and a pragmatic “trial period” for those hesitant to take the next step. The blend of hope, emotional fulfillment, and calculated waiting reflects both contemporary anxieties and human longing for meaningful connection.
Expert opinions from psychologists and relationship counselors in Thailand have noted a parallel rise in situationships within the country’s urban population, often facilitated by mobile dating apps and changing attitudes toward premarital romance (Bangkok Post). The psychological underpinnings identified in the Baylor University study—such as emotional investment and hope—also appear in local counseling sessions. “While many young Thais value commitment, they are increasingly open to non-traditional forms of dating as they wait for the ‘right one’ or develop their own readiness for commitment,” explained a Thai counselor from a leading university’s student wellbeing center, in response to these trends.
Culturally, Thailand has long balanced a tension between liberal urban trends and traditional rural views, especially around dating and marriage. Increased access to Western media and global dating practices has gradually shifted how youth communicate and form romantic attachments, particularly in cosmopolitan centres such as Bangkok and Chiang Mai. This hybrid dating landscape makes the findings from US-based research directly relevant to contemporary Thailand, where family expectations still loom but individual autonomy is gaining ground.
The study’s authors caution that their findings are not universal: the sample comprised mostly young women, and was limited to those willing to speak about their romantic experiences. As a follow-up, the research team plans to conduct targeted studies among men to see if similar motivations apply. Despite these boundaries, the research offers concrete insights for relationship counselors, mental health professionals, and young adults navigating the murky waters of modern romance. For those stuck in situationships, the advice is to examine whether emotional needs are truly being met and to communicate clearly about desires and expectations, even if difficult.
For Thai readers, the implications are significant. Open, honest communication and attention to emotional wellbeing may be more important than relationship labels—both for personal satisfaction and for cultivating healthy, fulfilling connections. For parents, educators, and counselors supporting young adults, these findings underscore the value of non-judgmental discussion about modern relationship challenges.
As Thailand’s romance culture continues to evolve alongside global trends, situationships will likely remain part of the dating landscape. For those living “in the grey,” taking stock of one’s emotional needs, openly discussing intentions, and being mindful of investment can help ensure that romantic choices—whatever their form—lead toward greater fulfillment and emotional health.
For those currently in, or contemplating, a situationship: reflect on what the relationship truly provides and speak honestly with your partner about future hopes. The greatest satisfaction comes not from ambiguous waiting, but from understanding and communicating your own needs and aspirations.
Sources: PsyPost, Bangkok Post, Sexuality & Culture Journal