A new study of more than 800 U.S. adults finds that people who feel lonely do not only view others and their social world more negatively — they also tend to judge themselves as giving less and being more of a strain on close relationships, especially with family. The paper reports that a physiological marker of emotional flexibility, high-frequency heart rate variability (HF-HRV), showed a modest buffering effect: people with higher resting HF-HRV were somewhat less likely to link their loneliness with feeling burdensome to family members (Psychophysiology article). The findings highlight how loneliness can reshape self-perception and suggest practical pathways — from breathing-based exercises to community outreach — that could help break cycles of withdrawal and isolation.
Loneliness is not simply being alone; it is the subjective sense that one’s relationships lack meaningful connection or support. That subjective alarm can heighten attention to social threats and rejection, pushing some people toward reconnection but driving others deeper into withdrawal. The new study shifts focus from how lonely people perceive others to how they perceive their own contributions to relationships — whether they feel helpful or burdensome — and asks whether a common physiological index of self-regulation might influence those self-views (Psychophysiology article).
The research team used data from the Midlife in the United States (MIDUS) project, a long-running national cohort that includes a biomarker component. The sample for this analysis included 824 adults who completed loneliness questionnaires, rated how much support or strain they believed they contributed to friendships and family ties, and underwent resting electrocardiography to measure high-frequency heart rate variability — a parasympathetic-driven index linked in prior work to emotion regulation and social flexibility (MIDUS project ; Psychophysiology article). HF-HRV captures moment-to-moment variation in the intervals between heartbeats and is commonly interpreted as an index of vagal or parasympathetic influence on the heart. Higher resting HF-HRV has been associated in many studies with better stress regulation, social engagement skills, and resilience (HRV biofeedback review).
Key findings were clear and consistent. People who reported higher levels of loneliness were also more likely to say they provided less support and caused more strain in both friend and family relationships. That pattern suggests loneliness is not only about what one lacks from others — it also colors how people evaluate what they give. Importantly, the statistical tests revealed that resting HF-HRV modestly moderated the link between loneliness and perceived strain within family relationships: among people with lower HF-HRV, loneliness was more strongly associated with feeling like a burden to family, while for those with higher HF-HRV the association was weaker. The moderation did not appear for friendships or for perceived helpfulness, indicating the effect was specific and relatively small (Psychophysiology article).
The lead investigator framed the question around whether loneliness changes how people see their own social value: “Loneliness and social support are often looked at in terms of what a person receives from others, but we were curious whether, when people feel lonely, they also see themselves as giving less to their relationships,” she told an outlet covering the study (PsyPost coverage). The paper’s authors argue that negative self-perceptions about being burdensome can become self-fulfilling: someone who believes they are a burden may withdraw or avoid contact, which in turn deepens isolation.
Methodologically, the study benefits from a large, well-characterised cohort and objective physiological measurement. But the authors and reviewers caution against over-interpretation. The data are cross-sectional, so causality cannot be established: it is unclear whether loneliness causes people to rate themselves more negatively, whether pre-existing negative self-views increase the risk of loneliness, or whether both processes operate together. Self-report measures also mean findings reflect subjective perceptions, which are important for behavior even when they do not mirror objective reality. Finally, the HF-HRV moderation effect was modest and limited to family strain, so replication and longitudinal follow-up are needed to confirm whether resting vagal tone predicts who recovers from loneliness over time (Psychophysiology article).
For Thai readers, the study has particular resonance because family bonds are central to everyday life and social identity in Thailand. Strong norms around filial piety, intergenerational living, and reciprocal support mean that how people evaluate their role within the family can have large emotional and practical consequences. Public-health authorities in Thailand have already highlighted loneliness and social disconnection as growing concerns linked to mental ill-health, especially among young people and older adults; recent national reporting and WHO engagement have stressed the need to treat social connection as a public-health priority (WHO Thailand feature). In such a context, an increased sense of being a burden to family could accelerate withdrawal and undercut help-seeking at home, where family is often the first line of support.
The physiological angle — that people with greater resting HF-HRV showed slightly less tendency to see themselves as burdensome to family — points to practical, scalable tools that Thai health services and community programmes could consider. HF-HRV is not a fixed trait; interventions such as HRV biofeedback, paced breathing at resonance frequency, mindfulness practices, and structured relaxation training have been shown to increase HF-HRV and improve emotion regulation in clinical and community settings (HRV biofeedback review). These approaches dovetail with Thai cultural practices: mindfulness and breath-focused meditation are widespread and often supported by Buddhist temples and community groups. Integrating targeted breathing exercises and short HRV-informed practices into existing mental health campaigns — for example during the government’s Mind Month activities or in primary-care screening — could offer culturally resonant tools to help people regulate distressing self-views and remain socially engaged (WHO Thailand feature).
Clinicians, community health workers, educators, and employers can also take practical steps. Screening for loneliness and self-perceived burdensomeness in routine primary-care or school mental-health checks could identify people at risk of withdrawal. Brief psychoeducation that normalises transient feelings of burden and teaches simple cognitive-reframing and compassion-based techniques may reduce the tendency to withdraw. Community programmes that create structured, low-pressure opportunities for contribution — such as intergenerational activities, volunteer groups, or neighborhood reciprocity networks — can help people test and correct negative self-views by providing clear evidence of their value to others. These practical measures align with Thailand’s family- and community-centered social fabric and can be delivered through existing networks of health volunteers, temple groups, and local government health offices.
The study also points to research gaps that matter for Thailand. The MIDUS sample is largely middle-aged and older adults in the U.S., so researchers in Thailand should test whether the pattern holds across Thai age groups and cultural settings. Younger Thais, migrant workers, urban dwellers, and older adults in rural provinces may experience different dynamics between loneliness, self-perception, and physiological regulation. Longitudinal studies in Thailand would show whether HF-HRV or other biomarkers predict recovery from loneliness or resilience to social stress, and whether culturally adapted interventions (for example, mindfulness combined with HRV biofeedback) can strengthen social confidence and reduce perceived burdensomeness.
There are also policy implications. As Thai authorities scale up mental-health services and social-connection initiatives, adding measures that target self-perception and physiological regulation could strengthen outcomes. Training community health volunteers and primary-care nurses in brief HRV-informed breathing techniques, and incorporating self-compassion and cognitive-reframing materials into school curricula and workplace wellness programmes, would be low-cost, culturally appropriate additions. Monitoring and evaluation should track not only reductions in loneliness but also changes in perceived contribution and burden within families.
In short, loneliness reshapes both outward perceptions and inward narratives. The new study shows that lonely people may view themselves as giving less and being more of a strain — and that a physiological index of regulation, HF-HRV, may slightly blunt that self-criticism within family contexts. For Thailand, where family relationships are central, the research underscores the need to combine psychosocial supports with culturally aligned tools like breath-based practices and community programmes. Small interventions that strengthen self-compassion and physiological regulation may help people remain connected, contribute meaningfully, and avoid the isolating spiral that perpetuates loneliness.
For clinicians and community leaders in Thailand: screen for loneliness and perceived burdensomeness, teach simple breath-based HF-HRV exercises and self-compassion strategies, and create opportunities for safe, low-stakes contribution within families and neighbourhoods. These practical steps — combined with longer-term research and culturally adapted programmes — can help translate the new findings into stronger social resilience across Thai communities (Psychophysiology article ; PsyPost coverage ; MIDUS project ; HRV review ; WHO Thailand feature).