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Gaslighting as a Learning Process: New Model Explains How Manipulators Shape Reality

7 min read
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A new theoretical model from researchers at McGill University and the University of Toronto reframes gaslighting as a learned manipulation strategy rather than a mysterious personality flaw. The study suggests that gaslighters exploit the brain’s natural learning mechanisms to gradually erode a target’s confidence in their own perceptions. In practical terms, this means gaslighting can unfold as a subtle, repeated pattern that shifts what someone believes about what is real, who is trustworthy, and where blame belongs. The lead author explains that when you trust or love somebody, you expect them to behave in a predictable way; gaslighters act in an atypical, surprising manner and use that surprise to direct the learning of the people they target. This framing marks a shift from purely emotional abuse toward a cognitive process that can, in principle, be understood, anticipated, and countered.

At the heart of the new framework is prediction error minimization, a concept that describes how the brain builds and updates internal models of the world. In everyday terms, our brains constantly compare what we expect will happen with what actually occurs. When reality and expectation don’t align, the brain recalibrates its predictions and responses. The researchers propose that gaslighters intentionally induce mismatches between expectation and experience and then attribute those mismatches to the target’s own grasp of reality. Over time, a person can become epistemologically uncertain — unsure about their own knowledge and judgment — because the pattern repeats and the explanations come to feel plausible. In the authors’ words, the effect can be to make someone worry that they don’t actually understand reality, creating a dangerous loop where self-trust weakens and external voices become the only anchors left.

This theoretical lens places substantial emphasis on trust and close relationships. The model argues that we depend heavily on those around us to form our sense of self and our understanding of what is true. When a trusted partner, family member, or friend acts in ways that consistently surprise and contradict what the victim believes, the victim’s learning system begins to treat their own perspective as suspect. The research team notes that gaslighting does not necessarily target a particular personality type or demographic; it requires trust in the wrong person and a learning environment that makes the target doubt their own reality. Still, the authors acknowledge that individual differences — such as attachment styles or a history of trauma — could influence vulnerability, and future work will explore these nuances. In short, the phenomenon is not about “weakness” in a person but about the dynamics of trust, learning, and manipulation.

The implications for Thai readers are both urgent and practical. Family life in Thailand often features close-knit networks, multi-generational households, and strong deference to elders and authority figures. These social structures can offer protection, but they can also create fertile ground for gaslighting if power is misused in intimate relationships or within family hierarchies. The new model helps explain why a husband, wife, or in-law may gradually shape another person’s sense of reality in ways that feel plausible and intimate — a form of emotional weathering that compounds with daily life, work demands, and social expectations. In the Thai context, where the family remains the primary social unit and where harmony is valued, recognizing gaslighting requires balancing respect for elders and partners with clear boundaries and self-checks. The learning-based framing also speaks to a broader public health need: equipping people with mental health literacy so they can spot deceptive patterns early, document them, and seek support without fear of shame or retaliation.

From a practical perspective, what should a Thai family or workplace do with this understanding? First, awareness is key. If someone repeatedly shifts blame onto you, discounts your recollection of events, or insists that your concerns prove you are unstable or irrational, these are red flags. The model’s emphasis on prediction errors suggests you can test your perceptions by seeking corroboration from trusted confidants, jotting down what happened, and looking for consistency across accounts rather than accepting one person’s narrative as definitive. In families, this can involve gentle, non-confrontational conversations about what was observed, how it felt, and what would be a healthier way to handle disagreement. In workplaces, it means creating transparent processes for feedback, encouraging documentation, and ensuring there are neutral channels — such as human resources or mediators — to verify events rather than letting one person’s account predominate.

The study’s authors emphasize that future research could illuminate which personal histories or circumstances heighten susceptibility to gaslighting and how interventions can strengthen people’s counter-learning, i.e., their ability to resist manipulation and maintain a clear sense of reality. For Thailand, this translates into concrete steps: integrating mental health literacy into school curricula and workplace training, expanding community-based counseling services, and leveraging trusted community institutions — temples, clinics, and neighborhood networks — as venues for education and support. Mindfulness and reflective practices, long part of Thai cultural life, could be harnessed to help individuals maintain present-mocused awareness and to notice when expectations diverge from actual experiences. By coupling cognitive insights with culturally familiar tools, communities can cultivate resilience without stigmatizing those who experience manipulation.

Experts emphasize that gaslighting is a social concern as much as an individual one. The core idea — that manipulation works by exploiting how people learn about the world — reframes prevention and recovery strategies. A senior clinician notes that recognizing this pattern early is critical, because delayed acknowledgment can deepen the sense of epistemic insecurity and prolong distress. The researchers’ framing invites therapists, educators, and community leaders to address gaslighting not only as a private grievance but as a public health issue with measurable implications for mental health, productivity, and social trust. By reframing gaslighting as a dynamic learning process, Thai institutions could design targeted interventions that are both scientifically grounded and culturally appropriate, promoting healthier family dialogues, safer workplaces, and more transparent public communication.

Historically, Thai society has navigated complex tensions around truth, authority, and face-saving. The concept of gaslighting taps into these tides in instructive ways. It underscores the need for communities to maintain respectful discourse while insisting on accountability. In temples and monasteries, where mindfulness and compassion are emphasized, the new framework could be translated into practical mindfulness-based strategies that help individuals observe their own reactions, test their perceptions, and regain confidence in their lived experiences. In schools, educators can incorporate scenario-based learning that helps students recognize manipulative patterns in friendships and online interactions, an increasingly relevant area as digital spaces become central in Thai adolescence and adulthood. Culturally, the message aligns with the enduring Thai value of community care and the responsibility to protect one another from harm, while acknowledging the dignity of those who report abuse and seek support.

Looking ahead, the potential implications for policy and practice are meaningful. If gaslighting is understood as a learnable, quantifiable process, then public health campaigns could be designed to improve literacy around manipulation, with clear signs to watch for and practical steps to preserve one’s sense of reality. Medical and mental health training could incorporate PEM-based frameworks to help clinicians assess and address cases where patients begin to doubt themselves after interactions with a manipulator. For educators and employers, policies that reduce isolation, promote transparent communication, and create safe spaces for reporting would be especially valuable in countering the subtle erosion of trust that gaslighting can cause. In Thailand, where social cohesion is a guiding principle, combining scientific insight with community-rooted practices offers a path to safer relationships, healthier workplaces, and more resilient families.

Ultimately, this research invites a nuanced conversation about what it means to be manipulated and how we respond. The core idea is not about labeling a person as weak or fragile but about recognizing a repeatable pattern that can be interrupted. For Thai readers, that means equipping every layer of society — families, schools, clinics, workplaces, and spiritual communities — with tools to identify, understand, and stand up to gaslighting while preserving dignity and social harmony. The story is not just about stopping abuse; it is about strengthening the social fabric that binds Thai communities together. As with many challenges in Thai life, the answer lies in a blend of knowledge, compassion, and practical action that respects tradition while embracing scientific advance. By translating this new model into everyday language and culturally attuned practices, Thailand can lead in not only recognizing manipulation but safeguarding the mental clarity and well-being of its people.

In the end, the key takeaway is clear: gaslighting can be understood as a predictive-learning challenge rather than a mystery. A trusted person’s surprising behavior, repeated over time, can nudge a person to doubt their own perceptions. Recognizing that loop is the first step toward breaking it, renewing confidence, and rebuilding a sense of reality — a goal that resonates deeply with Thai families’ enduring commitment to care, integrity, and communal resilience.

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Medical Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Always consult with qualified healthcare professionals before making decisions about your health.