#MentalLoad

A pervasive Thai dream of “having it all” places enormous pressure on working mothers. The ideal suggests women can seamlessly blend demanding careers, intense parenting, flawless housework, and constant emotional availability. International research shows this perfectionist standard is misleading and harmful, setting women up for stress and disappointment rather than spurring real social change.

New studies reveal the hidden burdens of household and cognitive labor on mothers’ mental health, career progress, and family harmony. When women strive to meet these standards, they report higher chronic stress, burnout, and slower career growth. Inflexible workplaces and gaps in policy fail to support families facing competing demands.

Thai working mothers face mounting pressure from the culturally pervasive “having it all” ideal — the expectation that women seamlessly combine uninterrupted career advancement, intensive hands-on parenting, flawless household management, and constant emotional availability to family members. Leading international research reveals this perfectionist benchmark as fundamentally misleading and psychologically harmful, creating unrealistic expectations that set individual women up for failure rather than prompting necessary social and institutional changes.

Comprehensive new studies document the devastating impact of invisible household and cognitive labor burdens on maternal mental health, career trajectories, and family wellbeing. Women who attempt to meet “having it all” standards experience significantly elevated rates of chronic stress, occupational burnout, and career stagnation, while policy gaps and inflexible workplace norms provide inadequate support for managing competing demands.

A growing body of research and commentary argues that the cultural ideal of “having it all” — combining an uninterrupted career, hands-on parenting, flawless household management and emotional availability — is a misleading and harmful benchmark for many women. New studies tie the burden of invisible household and cognitive labour to higher rates of stress, burnout and stalled careers for mothers, while policy gaps and workplace norms leave many without realistic supports. For Thai families navigating strong family expectations and evolving labour patterns, the evidence suggests pragmatic policy and workplace changes, not perfectionist ideals, will deliver better outcomes for women, children and the economy (WSJ opinion ; systematic review of mental labour ; cognitive household labour study).

No one warns you about the anger. New reporting and recent research suggest that irritation, seething resentment and occasional “mom rage” are common, understandable responses to the sustained mental and emotional labour of parenting — not signs of moral failure. An in-depth feature by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation found mothers routinely suppress anger because cultural narratives of the “perfect mother” label such feelings as unacceptable, leaving many women feeling “socially gaslit” into silence (ABC News). Academic studies reinforce that the mental load — the invisible planning, organising and emotional labour of family life — falls heavily on mothers and is closely linked to frustration, burnout and mood disturbance (University of Bath / University of Melbourne research release; ScienceDaily summary).

A new wave of reporting and research is challenging the idea that good mothers must never feel anger amid the constant demands of childcare. Investigations and peer-reviewed studies show that irritation, resentment, and occasional “mom rage” are common reactions to the hidden mental and emotional labor many mothers shoulder. The narrative of the “perfect mother” often pressures women to hide frustration, leaving them isolated and undersupported. For Thai readers, these findings highlight how long-standing expectations of maternal sacrifice—rooted in cultural notions of patience and family harmony—can trap mothers in silent suffering that harms both mental health and family life.

Groundbreaking investigative reporting and cutting-edge research are dismantling one of parenting’s most persistent myths: that good mothers should never feel angry about the relentless demands of childcare and family management. Recent comprehensive analysis by Australian Broadcasting Corporation journalists, combined with peer-reviewed studies from leading universities, reveals that irritation, seething resentment, and occasional episodes of “mom rage” represent common, understandable responses to the invisible mental and emotional labor that society places almost exclusively on mothers’ shoulders. The investigation documents how cultural narratives of the “perfect mother” systematically gaslight women into suppressing legitimate frustrations, leaving countless mothers feeling isolated, ashamed, and unable to seek the support they desperately need. Most significantly for Thai readers, these findings expose how traditional expectations of maternal sacrifice and emotional composure—deeply embedded in Buddhist concepts of patience and familial harmony—may be inadvertently trapping mothers in cycles of silent suffering that ultimately harm both maternal mental health and family wellbeing.