#ModernFamilies

Surveys and real-life stories show grandparents increasingly becoming primary caregivers for young children. The trend highlights pressures on modern families and the tough choices parents face when balancing work, costs, and care.

A notable case involves a grandmother who began helping for a short period but ended up caring for her grandchild for months. Her fatigue and back pain underscored the need for clear boundaries and sustainable arrangements.

This shift is global. In many countries, data show rising reliance on grandparents as childcare costs climb and work patterns change. In the United States, more than 2.7 million grandparents serve as the primary caregivers to their grandchildren, reflecting economic stress, changing family structures, and pandemic-era disruptions.

A rapidly growing body of research and real-world accounts reveal a significant shift in family dynamics worldwide, as more grandparents are stepping into the role of primary caregivers for young children—sometimes from the moment they’re born. This trend, which was recently thrown into sharp relief by a viral family advice story about parents “taking a break” from active childrearing since their baby’s birth, underscores the complex realities and pressures facing modern families today (Slate).

A recently published article in The Atlantic has put a spotlight on what social scientists, educators, and families around the world are increasingly calling the “default parent” problem—a persistent societal bias where mothers are treated as the primary caregiver by default, regardless of the actual family arrangement or parental wishes. Grounded in new research and illustrated by repeated real-life stories, this phenomenon persists in households, schools, clinics, and even airline cabins, with broad implications for work-life balance, gender equality, and family well-being.

A recent Atlantic feature shines a light on the “default parent” problem — the default expectation that mothers are the primary caregiver. This bias persists across homes, schools, clinics, and workplaces, shaping work-life balance and gender equality worldwide, including in Thailand.

For Thai readers, the phenomenon feels familiar. School forms often list mothers as emergency contacts, doctors reach out chiefly to mothers, and fathers who are primary caregivers are still treated as exceptions. Despite rising dual-income households and greater father involvement, the expectation that mothers coordinate daily child care remains deeply rooted. This dynamic adds emotional labor for mothers and obscures active father participation.