#SiblingDynamics

In identical Bangkok apartments and rural Thai households throughout the kingdom, brothers and sisters grow up sharing the same parents, bedrooms, and dinner tables yet emerge with childhood memories so fundamentally different they could have been raised in entirely separate families—one sibling recalling warmth, encouragement, and family stability while another remembers criticism, unfair treatment, and emotional neglect that profoundly shapes their adult relationships and mental health. This puzzling phenomenon affecting millions of Thai families across all social classes represents far more than simple childhood forgetfulness or selective memory, according to revolutionary behavioral genetics research that has transformed scientific understanding of how family environments actually influence individual development throughout childhood and beyond.

As Thai families increasingly span wider age gaps between children, a modern parenting conundrum is emerging: teenagers taking on the parental role over much younger siblings, especially toddlers. A recent episode of Slate’s acclaimed “Care and Feeding” parenting podcast brought this issue into sharp focus, featuring a parent struggling with two teens who have set themselves up as disciplinarians over their four-year-old sibling. Experts warn this blurring of roles—known in psychology as “parentification”—may have long-term consequences for both the child and the adolescent family members, with important implications for Thai households experiencing similar dynamics (slate.com).

A major new book, “The Family Dynamic” by Susan Dominus, is challenging long-held beliefs about how families can raise high-achieving children, offering vital insights for Thai parents pressured by rising academic and social expectations. Drawing on extensive reporting and scientific research, Dominus turns the conventional wisdom about parenting for success on its head, revealing that high achievement in children often comes with underappreciated emotional costs—and that much of what parents agonize over may matter less than they think.

A recent story published in Slate’s parenting advice column has sparked fresh debate and research interest into the psychological underpinnings of childhood fears—especially those triggered by well-meaning siblings. The case involved an almost-3-year-old who suddenly became terrified of going in her own backyard after her older brother invented a lake monster to keep her away from a potentially dangerous dock. Despite attempts to reassure her that the monster was not real, the fear caused lasting distress, including a newfound fear of the dark and the need for parental comfort at bedtime (Slate).